The hypocrisy of Bid’i Talaq Innovated Divorces weighed against the wisdom of the Qur’an

“O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best way and best in the result.” (Qur’an 4:59)

1. Obey Allah
2. Obey the Messenger
3. Obey those who are in authority over you.
4. If you dispute with anything or disagree over anything than refer it to 1) Allah and 2) The Messenger.

Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah (saw), would praise Allah in his sermon, as He deserves to be praised, and then he would say, “Whomever Allah guides, no one can lead him astray. Whomever Allah sends astray, no one can guide him. The truest word is the Book of Allah and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammed. The evilest matters are those that are newly invented, for every newly-invented matter is an (bid’a) innovation. Every innovation (bid’a) is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Hellfire.”

Source: (Sunan Al-Nasa’i 1578)

“Say: ‘I am not an innovation (bid’an) among the Messengers, and I know not what shall be done with me or with you. I only follow what is revealed to me; I am only a clear warner.’ (Qur’an 46:9)

Ibn Umar reported: He divorced his wife in the time of the Messenger of Allah, peace, and blessings be upon him, while she menstruating. Umar ibn al-Khattab asked the Prophet about that and he said, “Order him to return her. Let him leave her alone until she becomes pure, then menstruates, and then is pure again. If he wishes, he may keep her or divorce her before he is intimate with her. That is the waiting period Allah has commanded for divorcing women.”

Source: (Sahih al-Bukhari 4954 & Sahih Muslim 1471)

My Comment:

The menstrual cycle, which is counted from the first day of one period to the first day of the next, isn’t the same for every woman. Menstrual flow might occur every 21 to 35 days and lasts two to seven days. For the first few years after menstruation begins, long cycles are common.

Let him leave her alone until she becomes pure (2-7 days)

then menstruates (waiting for 21-35 days)

then is pure again (waiting period 2-7 days)

Total days (25 to 49 days)

The waiting period Allah has commanded for divorcing women

It is obvious from the hadith above from Ibn Umar (r.a) that we are giving only a small picture of the overall event. Ibn Umar (r.a) must have mentioned that he was not sexually intimate with his wife for 1 month already as it is. We can infer this because the correct waiting period was three months because this is what we find Allah (swt) telling us in the Qur’an.

“Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in during this time if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them in responsibility and authority. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” (Qur’an 2:228)

“Prophet, when you divorce the women, then divorce them after their waiting period (three monthly periods) and keep count of the waiting period and be cautious of Allah your Lord. (During that period) do not drive them out of their houses and they should not leave unless they commit an obvious indecency. This is limits set by Allah. And anyone who exceeds limits set by Allah then he has wronged himself. You do not know, for Allah may bring about an affair after that (to cause reconciliation).” (Qur’an 65:1)

“And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women – if you doubt, then their period is three months, and those who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth (up to 9 months). And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him of his matter ease.” (Qur’an 65:4)

Ibn Sirin reported: One who was blameless (as a narrator) narrated to me for twenty years that Ibn ‘Umar (r.a) pronounced three divorces to his wife while she was in the state of menses. He was commanded to take her back. I neither blamed them (the narrators) nor recognized the hadith (to be perfectly genuine) until I met Abu Ghallab Yunus b. Jubair al-Bahili and he was very authentic, and he narrated to me that he had asked Ibn ‘Umar (r.a) and he narrated it to him that he made one pronouncement of divorce to his wife as she was in the state of menses, but he was commanded to take her back. I said: Was it counted? He said: Why not, was I helpless or foolish? S

Source: (Sahih Muslim 1471 Book k10, Hadith 10 Book 9, Number 3481)

Look at the wording of this hadith it is very strange. Look at what the following web site has to say here:

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/2373/giving-talaaq-divorce-three-times-at-once-is-bidah

Praise be to Allaah.

“Giving talaaq (divorce) three times at once is bid’ah, and goes against the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “… When you divorce women, divorce them at their ‘iddah (prescribed periods)…” [al-Talaaq 65:1]. If a Muslim wants to divorce his wife, he should divorce her according to the Sunnah, which is to give one talaaq at a time when his wife is taahir (not menstruating) and he has not yet had intercourse with her following her period, or when it is clear that she is pregnant. According to the Shaafi’i madhhab and the majority of other madhhabs, giving three talaaqs at once counts as three separate talaaqs and is irrevocable, and the couple cannot remarry until the woman has been married to and divorced from another man. Other scholars say that three talaaqs given at once count as only one talaaq. And Allaah knows best.”

Also, look at this site.

https://www.al-feqh.com/en/ruling-on-sunni-talaq-and-bida%60i-talaq

“A: A Sunni Talaq is one pronouncement of Talaq made when a wife is pregnant or during a period of Taharah (ritual purity) in which no sexual intercourse has taken place. In contrast, a Bid‘i Talaq consists of three pronouncements of Talaq given in one word (ex: “I divorce you thrice.”), or several words (ex: “You are divorced, you are divorced, you are divorced.”), or one pronouncement or more made while the wife is menstruating, in her postpartum period, or in a period of Taharah during which sexual intercourse has occurred. (Part No. 20; Page No. 56) May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.”

You will even hear many of these people say,

“Talaq Bid’a or irregular divorce is where a husband repudiates his wife by three divorces at once. According to the majority of the jurists, the Talaq holds good, but it is against the spirit of the Shari’ah, and, therefore, the man who follows this course in divorce is an offender in the eye of Islamic Law.”

These people these scholars we have placed trust in are chewing up marriages like a lawnmower chewing up grass. So let’s take a moment to do some reflection on what is presented.

Question Number One. Why did Allah (swt) forbid Muslims to divorce their wives during their menses to begin with? Why not divorce them during their menses? Does anyone have the answer to that?

Let me first say that the subject of periods /menstruation is not a subject that any man I have met is comfortable with. People don’t like to think about it concerning their mothers, some people treat their wives like something untouchable during that time, and men don’t like to discuss that with their daughters. That is usually a task given to the wives themselves. I also think this is a wisdom and a proof for the divine nature of the Qur’an. Yes!

A topic such as menstruation is proof of the divine authorship of the Qur’an!

The reason that Allah (swt) does not allow the man to start the divorce process during menses is that during menses many women already feel very fatigued, and irritable. Women are more likely to be moody and say something to set the husband off. Allah (swt) has put this as a shield and protection for women. This is the fitra that Allah (swt) created women in. Just like the women do not have to fast or do their prayers during the menses.

There are some men of various degrees of character. Some men will be so frustrated they can’t have sex with a woman at this time. They may be so uncultured as to want to divorce a woman at this time.

Question Number Two. Where is there a single verse anywhere in the Qur’an where a man can end a marital relationship with a wife simply by making a statement?

In fact, let us look at this from both a logical and a textual perspective. So a man verbalizes the word ‘Talaq‘ to the wife. Which according to our scholars today means that this severs the bonds of marriage and waives the conjugal rights. Which logically means this woman is not his wife.

So what did the Blessed Messenger (saw) say?

“ And no one of you should be alone with a woman for the Shaitan will be the third one present.”

Source: (Musnad Ahmad 114 Book 2, Hadith 32 Vol 1 Book 2 Hadith 114)

In Islamic jurisprudence, the very utterance of ‘Talaq‘ among the schools of Ahl Sunnah means that the divorce is terminated. However, according to the Qur’an when the man makes clear his intention to divorce it begins a process that goes through stages up to the dissolution of the marriage.

Anyone who says that a man who pronounces divorce to his wife means he has no more fire for her is refuted by the book of Allah (swt)!! Allah (swt) turns that objection to ashes!

“Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives – they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving. And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said – then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby, and Allah is Acquainted with what you do.” (Qur’an 58:2-3)

These amazing verses in the Qur’an establish a few points.

1. That a man may say something with his mouth that he later regrets.
2. Allah (swt) did not allow an automatic divorce to happen through this statement alone.

Now we have to ask. On what consistent basis is saying, “you are to me as the back of my mother” not grounds for a divorce but saying, “I divorce you” is?

Let’s continue to take a look at the wisdom of Allah (swt) and leave aside the folly of humans.

“Prophet, when you divorce the women, then divorce them after their waiting period (three monthly periods) and keep count of the waiting period and be cautious of Allah your Lord. (During that period) do not drive them out of their houses and they should not leave unless they commit an obvious indecency. This is limits set by Allah. And anyone who exceeds limits set by Allah then he has wronged himself. You do not know, for Allah may bring about an affair after that (to cause reconciliation).” (Qur’an 65:1)

How can someone dare say that divorce does not have a time and place when the revelation of Allah (swt) clearly says that it does?

How can you say ‘talaq’ which according to the jurist means: 

“That this severs the bonds of marriage and waives the conjugal rights.” How are you going to live in the same house with someone who is not your wife and the wife is told in no uncertain terms not to leave the home during her waiting period?

Can you imagine going up to the scholars and saying, “You know I just met this girl the other day would it be cool if she came to my place and stayed the night?” Also notwithstanding the fact that sexual intimacy may actually happen between them in such a closed environment which means fornication (another huge sin) and in the case of a man who is married to another wife now means adultery (a sin which carries the death penalty to the majority of the jurist)?

What kind of logic is taking place here? This makes no sense if ‘Talaq‘ is an instantaneous event rather than a process with stages.

Remember the verse above says:

“You do not know, for Allah may bring about an affair after that (to cause reconciliation).”

This means that during that three month waiting period it can give the couple a chance to reflect, to discuss, or to build upon their existing love, to have sexual intimacy. That is because divorce is a process with stages.

And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women – if you doubt, then their period is three months, and those who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth (up to 9 months). And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him of his matter ease.” (Qur’an 65:4)

Notice the wisdom of Allah (swt). Those who are pregnant their term is until they give birth (which could be up to 9 months). That is plenty of time for reflection on both parties. Does the husband really want his wife to be a single mother out there raising the children? Can they really go 9 months without displaying any intimacy or affection towards each other?

“Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back during this time if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them in responsibility and authority. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” (Qur’an 2:228)

There are certainly some things lacking in this English translation. “Divorced women remain In waiting for three periods” “And their husbands have more right to take them back during this time if they want reconciliation.”

How are you going to be divorced and have a husband at the same time? That is why In all honesty the most consistent translation faithful to the Arabic text is that done by Dr. Laleh Bakhtiar.

“And the women who are to be divorced will await by themselves three menstrual periods. And it is not lawful for them (f) that they (f) keep back what God created in their (f) wombs if they (f) had been believing in God, and the Last Day. Their husbands have a better right to come back during that period if they (m) wanted to make things right. For the rights of them (f) in regard to their husbands is the like of rights of their (f) husbands in regard to them (f), as one who is honorable. And men have a degree over them (f). And God is Almighty, Wise.” (Qur’an 2:228)

Again all of this is strongly signaling divorce as a process and not instantaneous.

“And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a married couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, Allah may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, Allah is indeed all-knowing, aware.” (Qur’an 4:35)

“So when they have fulfilled their term, take them back in an honorable way or separate from them in an honorable way. And call two just persons among yourselves to witness and uphold the testimony for Allah. By this is exhorted whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day. And whosoever reverences Allah, He will appoint a way out for him.” (Qur’an 65:2)

Now obviously if the divorce was instantaneous and not a process there would be no waiting period. There would be no way to appoint arbiters from the families to try and get them to stay together. This verse 65:2 also utterly destroys certain concepts and understandings about divorce being spontaneous.

Why?

So normally people will say that even if you reconcile after saying, ‘talaq‘ it will count as one divorce. So the second time now means a second ‘talaq‘ or second divorce. However, this understanding is utterly destroyed by this verse 65:2. Because if ‘talaq‘ is understood as instantaneous divorce and the process above is simply a formality then the part where it says, “take them back in an honorable way” is not possible.

In fact, even in the extreme case of the wife committing nushuz (sexual immorality), the husband is cautioned to take a number of steps.

1. Advise them
2. Forsake the bed with them
3. Strike them

The most appropriate time to introduce spontaneous divorce is nowhere to be found.

“But those from whom you fear nushuz (sexual immorality), first advise them; then if they persist, forsake them in bed, and finally strike them. But if they obey you, seek not means of annoyance against them.” (Qur’an 4:34)

As regards triple talaq. There is no mention of this in the Qur’an. Three divorces in one sitting is not only alien to the language of the Arabic grammar itself it is alien to the very text of the Qur’an!

There is no mention of the Blessed Messenger (saw) divorcing women in such a manner or giving approval for it. 

“Divorce is allowed twice, after which keep your wives kindly or dismiss them generously. Your husbands may not take back anything you have given them unless both of you fear that they may not be able to keep within the limits set by Allah. It is not then wrong for them if she buys her way out. These are Allah’s limits, do not exceed them. Anyone who exceeds them is unjust.” (Qur’an 2:229) 

How do we understand this verse? A couple/man/woman initiates the divorce process. After the required waiting period 3 months or after the child is born if there is no reconciliation that happens the parties go to the two just witnesses and finalize their divorce. That is one divorce.   

The couple re-marry and find that again they have some irreconcilable differences. A couple/man/woman initiates the divorce process. After the required waiting period 3 months or after the child is born if there is no reconciliation that happens the parties go to the two just witnesses and finalize their divorce. That is a second divorce. 

The couple re-marry and find that again they have some irreconcilable differences. A couple/man/woman initiates the divorce process. After the required waiting period 3 months or after the child is born if there is no reconciliation that happens the parties go to the two just witnesses and finalize their divorce. That is the third and final divorce.   

Even if a woman re-marries and the man divorces her she can not remarry her former husband as divorce is only twice. The only time she can re-marry the former husband after another marriage with another man falls apart is in between divorce one and divorce two and in between divorce two and divorce three. 

Tasriun means to release

Whereas the word Talaq means to abandon or rid oneself of something.

“Definition of “divorce” (talaq) Literally, the word “divorce” (talaq) means to abandon a thing or get rid of a thing. When an animal tied with a string is untied it is called talaq. If the tied with a string she-camel is untied, the Arabs mention this state as: “talaqa al-naqata talaqan” 23 (The she-camel has been released).”

Source: (Pg 15. Islamic Law of Marriage and Divorce by Shehza Sham)

So if the term Talaq means to untie, to abandon or to get rid of something it makes no sense to say to someone “I abandon you” thrice, because in order to be abandoned the second time or the third time just like saying ‘I untie you thrice’.  In order to be ‘untied’ a second or third time, you would need to be tied or in a state of ‘aqad’ for a second or third time.

Akad means to tie or to bind up.

 “And untie the knot ( ʿuq’datan ) from my tongue.” (Qur’an 20:27)  

“And do not determine to undertake a marriage contract (uq’data l-nikahi) until the decreed period reaches its end. And know that Allah knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing.” (Qur’an 2:235)

“And from the evil of the blowers in (l-uqadi) knots.” (Qur’an 113:5)

To explain in pictures. The shoe strings tied together represent Akad Nikah.  The tying together of two destinies. The shoes untied represents Talaq-the unbinding of the knot.

Linguistically it does not make sense to say “I have untied you” and “I have untied you” and “I have untied you.” You would need to tie a second time in order to untie a second time. You would need to untie a third time in order to untie for the last and final time.

So we have an open admission among many of the Muslim scholars that they allow innovation in religion! They allow innovation in divorce! They allow Bid’ah Talaq! Even though many times they are the same people quoting to us the hadith that every innovation is in the hellfire!  However, some Muslims will say they believe in Bid’ah that is reprehensible and Bid’ah that is praiseworthy. 

Fair enough. So we ask them.  Is divorcing women during their menses or saying triple talaq a praiseworthy Bid’ah? No one in their right minds will say this is a praiseworthy bid’ah rather it is reprehensible bid’ah. So why allow it? 

Dear Muslim ummah we can do better than what we currently have.

Imagine people get who are planning to get married. They may spend months or even up to a year planning for their wedding. They may buy engagement rings and plan things like clothing, food catering, visitor invite cards, photoshoots, and more. The couple buys a home together, the woman gets pregnant gets sick in the middle of the night, and finally has children together with her husband. They name the children together and watch them go to school together. 

At one point in the wedding, they have some major argument. The husband says to the wife, ‘Talaq‘.  Suddenly that act which completes half of your faith, that institution of the family which 60% of Shari’ah law is based upon, that entire foundation of careful and meticulous planning comes crashing down in an instant.  So marriage in Islam is a thought out process and divorce is not?

Dear Muslim ummah we can do better than what we currently have. 

Allah (swt) knows best and the help of Allah (swt) is sought.