Salafiyyah Royal Rumble: Who is upon the Manjah? (Parody)

“And upon that Day We will leave some of them to surge against others; (Literally: Some of them against some others) and the Trumpet will be blown; then We will gather them in (one) gathering.” (Qur’an 18:99)

This year’s Salafiyyah Royal Rumble seeks to answer the only question that matters.  

WHO IS UPON THE MANHAJ? LIVE AT WEMBLEY STADIUM  

The rules are simple. Once a man goes over the top rope and the feet touches the floor they will be eliminated. There will be 30 men competing to be ‘The Oneupon the Manhaj. All men’s names and numbers have been selected by casting lots. We start off with one man followed by the no.2.  

Every 2 minutes a new entrant will enter the ring. There are no referees. This year all contestants have been retrofitted with special microphones near the top of the collar bone on their wrestling gear. This way if they have anything they would like to say to the crowd or each other it will be on record.  

Our commenters at ring side are:  

Jim Ross: Jim Ross is well-known and respected as a play-by-play commentator for the WWE. 

Joe Rogan: Joe Rogan is known and respected as a play-by-play commentator for the UFC. 

Hamza Yusuf: Hamza Yusuf is an American neo-traditionalist Islamic scholar and co-founder of Zaytuna College.  

We are live here at the Wembley Stadium with a sold-out capacity crowd of over 90,000!  

ENTRANT 1: Shaykh Uthman ibn Farooq  [colossal pop from the crowd]

Shaykh Uthman: “Hello I am Uthman ibn Farooq. Yes, I am here to show you people what it’s all about. I am the one upon the Manhaj. I have been stabbed for the Daw’ah. You haven’t seen these fools get stabbed for the Daw’ah have you? So come on out nerds and I’ll bust your skull, because I am the one upon the Qur’an and the Sunnah.”  

The fans cheer until the countdown clock. They are buzzing for number 2.  

ENTRANT 2: Shaykh Feiz Mohammad.   [Fans boo Shaykh Feiz as he flips off the crowd]

Shaykh Feiz walks into the ring and stands directly in front of Shaykh Uthman. He grabs the mic. 

Shaykh Feiz Mohammad: “Shaykh Uthman ibn Farooq you’re a dumb jerk who thinks he is upon the Manhaj! In San Diego, that one city you are a big fish in a little pond. Whereas in Australia I am a whale in a teacup!” [with that Shaykh Feiz and Shaykh Uthman begin reigning blows upon each other]  

 The fans cheer wildly. Shaykh Feiz looks at the crowd like “should I, do it?” and they all boo heavily. Shaykh Feiz with a DDT to Shaykh Uthman as his head bounces off the canvas. Shaykh Feiz goes out to the ringside and grabs a chair from under the ring. [Shaykh Uthman staggers as he gets up]. Shaykh Feiz takes the chair and before he smashes it over Shaykh Uthaman’s skull, Shaykh Uthman counters, with a jab to the eye.  

ENTRANT 3: Hamza Andreas Tzortzis   [colossal pop from the crowd cheering one of England’s own]

Uthman and Feiz brawl for a bit, as we are teased eliminations from both men left and right. It is a very exciting back and forth as Hamza enters the ring and immediately grabs Shaykh Feiz swinging him into the ropes only to drop him with an epic clothesline. This gives Shaykh Uthman a much-needed breather. Hamza goes to check on Shaykh Uthman whom takes the opportunity to gouge Hamza Tzortzis in the eyes.    

Shaykh Uthman ibn Farooq: “What you think we forgot about Ashley Madison? You think we forgot about all your moonlighting with Ghazali?”   

Meanwhile Shaykh Feiz comes from behind grabbing a stunned Hamza Tzortzis and holds him as Shaykh Farooq starts with the chops across the chest. [The crowd woo woo wooing for each chop]. Tzortzis struggles to get out of Shaykh Feiz hold as Shaykh Uthman delivers vicious chops to the chest!   

ENTRANT 4: Abu Iyaad Amjad Rafiq  

Abu Iyaad comes running to the ring and just starts going absolute ham on everybody! [Slaps to Shaykh Feiz] “Khawarij” he shouts! [Slaps to Shaykh Uthman] “Deobandi Simp” he shouts! [Slaps to Tzortzis] “Mubtadi” he shouts!  

Shaykh Feiz and Abu Iyyad squaring off as Tzortzis has Shaykh Uthman in the corner. Uthman goes for Tzortzis legs and Tzortzis puts his arm around Shaykh Uthman’s head giving him a noogie. [crowd laughs].   

Meanwhile, Shaykh Feiz has the upper hand on Abu Iyaad. In a brute show of strength, he lifts Abu Iyaad up and power bombs him on to the mat! Again, he lifts Abu Iyaad and power bombs him on to the mat!! [Let’s go Feiz the crowd chants in unison].   

ENTRANT 5: Anjem Chowdry  

[Wembley Arena visibly shocked jaws opened] Looking visibly buff from his prison stint Chowdry enters the ring and gets on the stick. He cuts a sick promo.  

Anjem Chowdry: “As a child, I had dreams of loneliness, and of a hatred that drove me mad. Of a stillness, and of sorrow, of what I never had; of what could only be. My mother thought that children should be seen and not heard. My mother thought that I as just prop for her amusement, for her idle friends. This made her feel good about herself. I was like a monkey, and she was an organ grinder, as I sat and did tricks for the adults that came over. The idle rich came by, and looked over at me as I’d recite the names of the English monarchs, forward and backwards, and backward and forward. I would recite various Shakespearean sonnets. I was surprised no one threw me money, because that’s what it felt like. The reason that….” [monologue gets interrupted as Hamza sends Shaykh Uthman crashing down on top of Chowdry]   

Anjem Chowdry takes a nasty dive down into the mat.   

ENTRANT 6: Brother Haji [From YouTube Fame]

Brother Haji rushes into the ring and starts hammering away at an already stunned Anjem Chowdry. Meanwhile Shaykh Feiz delivers his 10th powerbomb to Abu Iyyad whom at this point is lying lifeless as a rag doll.  

Commentator Jim Ross: “By God that’s a human being in there! Have mercy, Shaykh Feiz”.   

Shaykh Feiz lifts up a virtually lifeless Abu Iyyad and tosses him over the rope. [First man eliminated and crowd erupts]. Shaykh Feiz grabs Brother Haji and puts him in the torture rack. Meanwhile… Shaykh Uthman is concussed on the mat while Tzortzis takes a breather in the corner.   

ENTRANT 7: Brother Shamsi   [The audience goes ape!]

Shamsi enters the ring. He cleans house and looking into the nearest camera he discloses the following: 

Shamsi: “Time to show our brothers who is the one upon the Manhaj Salaf us Salih”.  

Brother Shamsi grabs a dazed Brother Haiji and trips him to the mat. Only to saddle on top of him and slap on a brutal cobra clutch. Shaykh Feiz and Hamza Tzortizis exchange vicious blows back and forth.  

ENTRANT 8: Woke Yasir Qadhi [Suddenly a porta appears and there is a rift in space time]  

An unidentifiable individual with long purple hair approaches the ring. As the cameras pan around the person is identified as …. Woke Yasir Qadhi!!  

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “OMG! Woke Yasir Qadhi from an alternate dimension!!” 

Woke Yasir Qadhi: [speaking with a slight lisp] “There is no one upon the ‘manhaj’ because girlfriend just the name itself is creepy. ‘Man Haj’ no, just no! Ewww! It’s ‘personhaj’. Second, it’s simply just a construct. In my universe we did away with Superman. It’s Super person now! ‘Salaf us Salih’ pftt! There are so many holes in that narrative that…. [interrupted by a vicious elbow to the back of the head by Shamsi].  

Shamsi: “What are you? You freak! Are you a guy? Allah ordered us to kill the guys. Some sort of something. I dunno what you are but you are definitely not upon the way of the Salaaf”.  

Brother Shamsi grabs Woke Yasir Qadhi and delivers vicious knees to the face, while suddenly, Brother Haji jumps on brother Shamsi’s back and covers both of his eyes.  

Anjem Chowdry back on his feet and wobbling a bit continues his monologue: 

Anjem Chowdry: “She never loved me…she never did, and she never will. And I often wonder, maybe it was my fault…but it wasn’t. And the only thing I can think to say when I think about her and what she did to me, and the pain she caused…the hatred, and the loathing I fear, is ‘What about me? What about Anjem?” 

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

ENTRANT 9: Saajid Lipham [a mix of boos and cheers from our crowd tonight]  

Saajid Lipham makes his way to the ring. Saajid assist Shamsi with brother Haji and delivers a vicious right hook followed by a clothesline Shamsi looks at Saajid approvingly. Shamsi and Saajid both lift brother Haji up and over the ring [Second man eliminated] As Shamsi and Saajid began a stare down [the crowd starts chanting Let’s go Tzortizis] and an energized Shaykh Feiz delivers an epic clothesline taking down both Shamsi and Saajid. Anjem Chowdry is still with his monologue. Woke Yasir Qadhi turns his attention to the corner with Tzortizis and Shaykh Uthman. Both Woke Yasir and Tzortizis have Shaykh Uthman over the ropes but Shaykh Uthman is holding on for dear life.  

ENTRANT 10: Shaykh Assim Hakeem  

Shaykh Assim enters the ring like a raging bull, and spears Woke Yasir Qadhi, saving Shaykh Uthman from certain elimination. Shaykh Assim gives a little misdirection and a fake to Sheikh Feiz before he cuts him down to size as well. Shaykh Assim just driving the shoulders in and now a right hand to the jaw of Sheikh Feiz.  

Hamza Tzortizis on his feet stomping away on a downed brother Shamsi. Saajid slithers up behind Hamza and delivers a low blow to the groin area. Shaykh Uthman applauding as Saajid and Uthman began stomping Hamza in the corner. Meanwhile Anjem Chowdry continues the monologue: 

Anjem Chowdry: “Trust and hate, and love and fate, and I don’t understand. Social grace, the human race, confuse me. These words I speak bring forth a world of emotions. Emotions of dreams lost, dreams found, and dreams I’ll never see. So, it is written. So, it shall come to pass. But the question is, will I, or will I not be Cody Rhodes partner at Summer Slam? But isn’t that the same question that I’ve been asked time and time again since my childhood? Isn’t the question really ‘Are there any dreams I’d like to sell?’ 

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

ENTRANT 11: Farid Responds: From YouTube fame.  

Farid Responds slowly makes his way to the ring drinking from a large Starbucks Trenta. Deliberately walks over to Anjem Chowdry who briefly stops his monologue. Grabs the mic from Anjem. 

Farid Responds: “What the hell are you talking about? Are you high? I mean I just chugged down a 31-ounce Iced Caramel Macchiato, and I maybe a little wired up but Bruh are you good? What is this I see around me? Salafi fighting Salafi? This, this is no Bueno!” [Brother Shami quickly snatches the mic from Farid]. 

Brother Shamsi: “Anyone high around here it is you! Farid? Who do you think you are to respond to anyone?” [Farid deadpan staring at Shamsi] “Last I checked I was refuting the Ahl El Hawa and you were hanging around people like that Chubby Whataburger Shaykh Uthman!”  

Farid Responds: “I find all these obese people jokes horrible. Don’t you think they have enough on their plate?” 

Brother Shamsi: “Ha! I see what you did there! But you still running away from the question…. [gets cut off by Shaykh Uthman] 

Shaykh Uthman: [breathing hard] “Boy! Shamsi did you just make a fat joke about me? Well, ‘Shamsi’, you maybe from the sun, but I am about to send you to the moon” [Shaykh Uthman head buts Shamsi on the nose and the two of them start scrapping].  

Meanwhile, Woke Yasir Qadhi is on the top ropes about to bring a world of glorious purple hair and wokeness down upon Farid. Farid moves out of the way and Woke Yasir Qadhi catches Saajid instead. Sheikh Feiz with a huge Hulk Hogan style leg drop on Woke Yasir Qadhi. Tzortizis still recovering from his groin injury. Shaykh Assim from behind with a German Suplex to Sheikh Feiz. Saajid recovers and stares down Farid. 

Saajid Lipham: “What was that ‘brother’ Farid?” 

Farid Responds: “What do you mean? I simply stepped out of the way and you caught one from Woke Yasir Qadhi.”  

Saajid Lipham: “Watch your back Farid, watch your back.”  

Farid Responds: “Oh I will.”  

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

4  

3  

2  

1  

ENTRANT 12: Abu Hakim Bilal Davis  [crowd with loud boos]

Abu Hakim Bilal Davis comes down and delivers a vicious spear to brother Farid. [Saajid cackles over a downed Farid] Tzortizis delivers an RKO on Saajid and plants his face flat on the mat. [this gets a huge pop from the crowd]. Shaykh Assim and Abu Hakim start double teaming Tzortizis. A bloodied Shamsi recoils from a furious Shaykh Uthman who delivers a whirlwind of haymakers. Shamsi lifts Shaykh Uthman up into the air and Tzortizis takes quick advantage kicking Shamsi in the back thus sending Shaykh Uthman over the top ropes. [Third man eliminated] Shaykh Uthman is furious as he heads back to the locker room. 

Hamza Tzortizis: “That was for the Ashley Madison comment home boy!”  

Shamsi turns his attention to Tzortizis whom is already in trouble. It is a three on one beat down as Tzortizis is barely able to stand in the corner.  

ENTRANT 13: Saboor Ahmad [another huge pop from the crowd]  

Saboor like lightning hits the ring, F5 to Shamsi, F5 to Abu Hakim, F5 to Shaykh Assim, F5 to Woke Yasir Qadhi. Checks on Hamza Tzortizis. [the crowd is really going wild] Shamsi, Abu Hakim and Shaykh Assim now to their feet standing in one corner. A battered Hamza, a fresh Saboor and the warrior Sheikh Feiz stand in the other corner. Farid and Woke Yasir Qadhi are both still laid out.  

The two groups rush each other, Shaykh Assim and Shaykh Feiz going at it. Hamza and Abu Hakim trade blows. Saboor taking the offence to Shamsi. Saboor has Shamsi almost over the ropes when suddenly Saajid pops up. [What is this? Saajid Lipham taking something from his trousers? They are knuckledusters!] Saajid Lipham throws them to Shamsi who delivers a strong blow to Saboor leaving him concussed on the mat. [Saajid snickering] Hamza Tzortizis manages to get Abu Hakim over the top ropes and sends him crashing down on the mat. [Fourth man eliminated as the crowd is on their feet]. Hamza comes rushing in with a furious double clothesline on Saajid and Shamsi. Sheikh Feiz from behind delivers a nasty DDT to Hamza. [crowd booing]. Anjem Chowdry continues his monologue.  

Anjem Chowdry: “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t alone, even when my parents were around. The sound of their fury was harsh, but the sound of their silence was deafening. It’s devastation that left me buried beneath a mountain of solitude. My loneliness and despair trapped me in a storm of unimaginable emptiness. What about me? What about Anjem? The other kids playing ball outside, and me with them was an illusion I’d allow myself, but the stark reality was even if my parents would have allowed me to leave my bedroom dwell, the other kids wouldn’t have allowed me to join in anyway. They said I didn’t follow their rules. Their stupid rules.” 

ENTRANT 14: Abdul Hamid (Hyde Park) 

Brother Abdul Hamid comes rushing down to the ring only to find himself face to face with Sheikh Feiz. The two size each other up. But before they trade blows, as if psionically synced they deliver a double clothesline to Shaykh Assim. This is followed by a double bulldog to both of them from Woke Yasir Qadhi. Woke Yasir Qadhi struts and prances around the ring like a rainbow pony from hell! Suddenly, Woke Yasir Qadhi comes face to face with Farid. Farid is back up and delivers a GTS (Go to Sleep) on Woke Yasir Qadhi.  

Commentator Hamza Yusuf Hanson: “I guess he’s woke no more. More like asleep ha ha!”  

Commentator Joe Rogan: “Good night princess.”  

Farid is running rampant and takes the fighting to everyone. It is getting cray, cray tbqh(to be quite honest). Just a lot of brawling at this point, fun moves and cool moments abound. Honestly the crowd is eating it up.  

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

ENTRANT 15: Abu Khadeejah [booing from the crowd. People in the audience begin to throw things at him].  

Abu Khadeejah surveys the ring as he takes note of the ensuing chaos. Abu Khadeejah catches Abdul Hamid by surprise and throws him over the top rope. [Fifth man eliminated]. Saboor Ahmad who can barely stand after being concussed by Shamsi is trying to get up to his feet. Abu Khadeejah takes note of this and orders Shamsi and Shaykh Assim to throw Saboor Ahmad over the top rope [sixth man eliminated crowd booing] Saajid and Farid exchanging blows in the ring. Abu Khadeejah, Shaykh Assim and Shasmi throw Shaykh Feiz over the top ropes [seventh man eliminated]. At this moment, Abu Khadeejah and Shamsi turn on Shaykh Assim and begin to curb stomp him in the corner. Shaykh Assim trying to cover his face.  

[suddenly the sound of broken glass fills the arena and Jim Ross flips his lid. The crowd is insane] 

Commentator Jim Ross: “By Allah, By Allah it’s Stone Cold Seven Austin! What the hell is he doing here?” 

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “He can’t do that right? I mean it’s against the rules, right?”  

Commentator: Joe Rogan: “Well, Shaykh Hamza, he’s Stone Cold he can do whatever he wants.”  

Stone Cold Steve Austin hits the ring and gives a stunner to Abu Khadeejah, stunner to Shamsi, stunner to Saajid, stunner to Farid and stunner to Hamza, stunner to Anjem Chowdry. Stone cold gets on the mic.  

Stone Cold Steve Austin: “You people can’t be doing that to Shaykh Assim! Eh Eh! In Stone Cold’s book Shaykh Assim likes to drink beer and that makes him upon the Manhaj and that’s the bottom line because Stone Cold Steve Austin said so!” [Stone Cold summons the crowd to throw some Carlsberg’s into the ring, as he and Shaykh Assim crack open some cold ones together and perform a toast].  

Stone Cold Steve Austin: “Now you get up off your Assim and show these people why you are upon the manhaj!” [Stone Cold Flips off the cameras] as he rolls out of the ring and heads back stage  

ENTRANT 16 Moderate Yasir Qadhi: [crowd visibly stunned] 

Commentator Joe Rogan: “I must be high!”  

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “Oh I like this one he’s, my guy!”  

Commentator Jim Ross: “This is shaping up to be one hell of a night!”  

Moderate Yasir Qadhi immediately is fixated upon Abu Khadeejah. The two both lock hands, in a test of wills and strength. Yasir Qadhi twist his body quickly and delivers a Styles Clash upon Abu Khadeejah [this receives a huge pop from the crowd]. Yasir Qadhi climbs to the top rope and delivers a Shooting Star Press upon Shamsi. Picks up Saajid sends him into the ropes and delivers a nasty clothesline. Meanwhile a liquored-up Shaykh Assim and Hamza Tzortizis are fighting intensely. Hamza lifts Shaykh Assim up and over the top ropes [eighth man eliminated]. Moderate Yasir Qadhi turns and comes face to face with Woke Yasir Qadhi. The stare down is intense!  

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

ENTRANT 17: Based Yasir Qadhi [crowd still in shock] 

Joe Rogan: “Three Yasir Qadhi’s? I am definitely high!” 

Commentator Jim Ross: “Another friend of yours Shaykh Hamza?” 

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “No, God no! That is late 90s Yasir Qadhi. I would have loved to have taught him a thing or two back in the day; but I had neither the time nor the crayons to explain things to him” 

All three Qadhis are now in the ring, Woke Yasir Qadhi, Moderate Yasir Qadhi and Based Yasir Qadhi. [crowd starts chanting: this is awesome!] Based Yasir makes the first move grabbing Woke Yasir by his voluptuously purple hair and throwing him over his head onto the mat. Moderate Yasir grabs Based Yasir by the beard and delivers an uppercut followed through with an Axe Bomber. Sending Based Yasir to the mat. Woke Yasir Qadhi is up on his feet and tries to catch Moderate Yasir Qadhi in a sleeper hold. Moderate Yasir maneuvers turning this into an opportunity for a Canadian Destroyer. Wasting no time, Moderate Yasir, quickly lifts up Woke Yasir Qadhi and sends him flying over the top ropes thus, eliminating the ninth man. Still at ring side Woke Yasir yells out to Moderate Yasir.  

Woke Yasir Qadhi: “You sir are a racist beast. You just hate me because of my Pakistani origin!” [woke Yasir has to be carried out of the arena by security] Distracted by the commotion, Based Yasir Qadhi takes advantage putting Moderate Yasir Qadhi into a Fire Man’s Carry. Shamsi comes up with the intention to use his lower leg to ram it into Moderate Yasir Qadhi’s face. As he does so Shamsi quotes: 

Shams: “The Day in which the shin is revealed!” [as Shamsi rams his lower leg into the face of Moderate Yasir Qadhi]. Meanwhile Abu Khadeejah and Hamza continue wrestling around on the mat. Saajid and Farid continue fighting. Anjem Chowdry is back on his feet. He grabs the microphone. 

Anjem Chowdry: “Mrs. Landisis’s sixth grade class. I sat in the third row next to Teresa Hayes. And it was there that I first discovered alienation and a barren path. The taunting and the badgering by the other kids made me realize the depths of human evil and the dark underbelly of human society. I’d close my eyes and pretend I was someone different, somewhere different. That I wasn’t a misfit. You can’t erase the dream; you can only wake me up. I didn’t care. I never obeyed the rules, because even back then I realized the nothing. Nothing in nature behaves so consistently and rigidly as a human being in pursuit of destruction.”  

ENTRANT 18: Hamza from EDF Dawah 

Hamza comes to the ring and assist Farid. He delivers chops to the chest of Saajid. [The crowd woo woo wooing for each chop]. Abu Khadeejah and Shamsi continue beating down Moderate Yasir Qadhi. Tzortizis comes to assist him. Now two groups in the ring. Abu Khadeejah, Saajid, Shamsi and Based Yasir Qadhi and in the other side of the ring, Farid, Hamza from EDF Dawah, Hamza Tzortizis and Moderate Yasir Qadhi. The two forces clash in the centre of the ring. What a great match this is. Lots of high-flying maneuvers, reversals, near falls. [They keep humorously forgetting it is a rumble so they go for the pin, Joe Rogan makes fun cracks about it] Hamza Tzortizis is an absolute machine! He has been in the ring now longer than anyone besides Anjem Chowdry, whom continues his monologue. Shamsi goes outside of the ring and grabs the chair that Shaykh Feiz had earlier. He uses it to crack Hamza Tzortizis open. Hamza is bleeding badly as he staggers around the ring. Abu Khadeejah takes advantage of a bewildered Hamza from the EDF Dawah team as he and Based Yasir Qadhi throw EDF Dawah team Hamza over the ring [The 10th man has been eliminated]. Based Yasir Qadhi and Farid exchanges blows. Saajid slinks around the outside of the ring. [Technically he is not eliminated] as he was not thrown over the ring. Moderate Yasir Qadhi comes rushing like a whirlwind towards Based Yasir Qadhi and manages to fling him over his shoulders and toss him out of the ring like a sack of potatoes. [The 11th man has been eliminated] Saajid grabs Moderate Yasir Qadhi and trips him. Proceeds to drag him outside of the ring and beat him with the knuckledusters. Saajid Lipham grabs a hand phone from a kid in the audience, uploads something on teleprompter. It looks like it’s an entire private conversation with Moderate Yasir Qadhi. [The crowd is booing. The buzzer sounds as the next man comes down to the ring]. 

ENTRANT 19: Abu Ibraheem Husnayn 

Abu Ibraheem Husnayn rushes to ring side to join in on the beating of Moderate Yasir Qadhi. Shamsi on top of the rope getting ready to deliver a devastating elbow to brother Farid. Meanwhile Abu Khadeejah seizes the opportunity to run up and grab Shamsi with a Hurricanrana and sends him face down into the mat. Saajid throws Moderate Yasir Qadhi back into the ring. Shamsi is back up off the mat and is hot! He starts in on Abu Khadeejah. 

Shamsi: “I’ve been waiting for this moment, Abu Khadeejah! circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now, *I* am the master.”  

Abu Khadeejah responds: “Only a master of riya” [As he says this Abu Ibraheem Husanayn rolls up Shamsi from behind and hits him with a Code Breaker].  

Meanwhile Farid and Saajid double team Moderate Yasir Qadhi, and Farid hits Moderate Yasir Qadhi with a tombstone. Abu Khadeejah and Abu Ibraheem Husnayn take a badgered Hamza Tzortizis and dump him over the top rope onto the canvas. [the 12th man has been eliminated as the boos from the crowd grow louder].  

Anjem Chowdry: “The earth is full of kings and queens. They’ll blind your eyes and steal your dreams. Kurt Cobain didn’t make it and it left behind a generation of tortured souls. Anguish, fear, and sorrow, are emotions we all feel, but never more strongly than in our adolescence. When just having an acne-rabid skin can mean a lifetime of loneliness. One’s acceptance by others is a barometer of one’s popularity. If one is different, a misfit, maybe unattractive, unathletic, one is in for a lifetime of cruelty and suffering, that will traumatize you permanently. You see scars are souvenirs you never loose. The past is never far. You can try to repress it. You can try to hold it back. You can try to deny it. But it will still continue to grow… stronger, and stronger. It’s like a malignant cancer, that can’t be satiated. Each of us manifests our pain in different manners. Whether it’s three in the morning in bed with tears in one’s eye. Whether it’s a need to destroy everything beautiful, or just simply shutting one’s self off from society. My father never gave me what I needed, so I understand what it’s like to do without. They should understand this. They should give what’s needed. I can see this. I can feel their pain. Why can’t they understand? We live by three: The Qur’an, the Sunnah and A Child Called “It” by Dave Pelzer. Read it and you’ll understand.”  

ENTRANT 20: Adnan Rashid  

Adnan Rashid jogs down to the ring and is immediately pounced on by Abu Khadeejah and Abu Ibraheem Husnayn. Adnan shakes them off and immediately goes after Anjem Chowdry. After a series of vicious chops, Adnan hits Anjem Chowdry with a Pedigree. Adnan gets ready to throw Anjem Chowdry over the ropes until he is stunned by a viscous bite on his neck delivered by Saajdi. Stunned, Adnan is being brutally curbed stomped by Abu Khadeejah, Abu Ibrahim, and Saajid. Meanwhile, Shamsi is back up fighting with Farid and Moderate Yasir Qadhi.  

[There seems to be a commotion in the audience. The fans are pointing up. A man is using a rope to repel down from the raptors towards the centre of the ring. Meanwhile, another man wearing a Santa Claus outfit is seen coming out from under the ring!]  

The man repels down to the ring and unties the rope from his harness. He is wearing a hoodie and is slowly and dramatically pulling back the hoodie to reveal his face the crowd. [gasp].  

Commentator Jim Ross: “I have no idea who this is but business is about to pick up.”  

Commentator Joe Rogan: “Jeez! Is that an anorexic Bill Goldberg? Looks like he lost 70lbs” 

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “I think I recognize him. He wrote me once wanting to debate or something [rolls eyes].”  

Commentator Jim Ross: “I just received a memo that it is none other than Pastor James White from the Phoenix Reformed Baptist Church what the hell is he doing here?!”  

Pastor James White removes his hoodie only to reveal a shirt underneath that reads: “Team Adnan!” [The crowd erupts!] The other man wearing a Santa attire is also now in the ring! As the Camera zooms in it is revealed that it is none other than Mufti Abu Layth!!! Everyone in the ring is now encircling Pastor White and Abu Layth. Abu Layth charges forth grabbing Abu Ibraheem and delivers a beautiful Michinoku Driver! Saajid takes a swipe at Pastor White who dodges and delivers a Choke Slam to Saajid. Abu Khadeejah rakes the eyes of Pastor White. Pastor White grabs hold of Abu Khadeejah delivering a swinging neck breaker!  

Commentator Jim Ross: “If Pastor White hadn’t showed up who knows what would have happened. Those three individuals were not just trying to hurt Adnan – they were out to end his career!”  

Adnan Rashid: “Thanks James, I owe you one.”  

James White: “I would love to stick around, really but I must rejoin the rest of the fleet in the Laurentian System.” [A puzzled Adnan Rashid looks on as James White seemingly phases out of material existence. But to where?] 

Commentator Joe Rogan: “Yeah that just happened.”  

[The buzzer sounds entrant 21 approaches.] 

ENTRANT 21: Dawah Man! Imran Ibn Mansur! 

Dawah man runs with such vigor and passion into the ring and immediately sets sights on a beleaguered Adnan Rashid. [Poor Adnan Rashid. Just when he thought he was safe. Out of the frying pan and into the Dawah!] Meanwhile, Mufti Abu Layth lifts Abu Ibraheem and throws him out of the ring.  

Commentator Jim Ross: “It doesn’t count as an elimination! Abu Layth is not a legal man.”  

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “I don’t think he’s legal anywhere.” 

Mufti Abu Layth grabs the mic: “You Abu Ibraheem no likey Santa Claus? You don’t like Mawlid Nabi Isa? You naughty naughty! You teasing me!”  

Suddenly Farid Responds with a Scorpion Death Drop on Mufti Abu Layth. [receives a huge pop in the audience as the down with the clown chants start]. Farid slaps a Scorpion Death Lock on Abu Layth(whom is withering in agony).  

Mufti Abu Layth: “Please Farid I was just clowning around, aaahh”  

Farid: “I don’t think so little man.” [Farid bends Abu Layth’s torso so far back it looks like it’s about to snap!]  

Commentator Jim Ross: “Bah Gawd that man has a family.”  

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “Play silly games win silly prizes.”  

Commentator Joe Rogan: “We really need to get security out here. That man’s about to pass out!”  

After Abu Layth passes out, Farid takes Abu Layth’s limp body to the top corner of the ring and power bombs him outside of the ring!” Medics arrive on the scene and Abu Layth is taken out on a stretcher. Security form a barrier around the ring so that no more outside interference is allowed. Farid grabs the mic, bringing his index finger to his lips. 

Farid Responds: “Shhh good night, Santa Claus. I’d also like to take this time to heap praise upon a brilliant Ikwani Muslim, Fadel Solimon for a brilliant work titled, 10 Qira’At of the Noble Qur’An….you see [Farid is rudely interrupted as Shamsi grabs him and throws him into the corner.]  

Shamsi: “I don’t want to hear anymore from the likes of Fadel Solimon, or the Ikwani, or any of this nonsense. Qur’an wa Sunnah wa Disney Plus!” [Dawah Man yanks the microphone from Shamsi]. 

Dawah Man: “Who gave you the authority to speak about the Qur’an and Sunnah? You no beard having, crunchy lizard looking upstart! You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. The Vikings said there are two types of people without beards, women and boys, which are you?” [Shamsi’s face turns red as tears stream down his cheeks and he proceeds to throw wild haymakers at Dawah Man.]  

Meanwhile, Moderate Yasir Qadhi gets himself to his feet and before Anjem Chowdry can rant any further, Moderate Yasir Qadhi sends him flying over the rope with a vicious clothesline. [The crowd erupts as the 13th man has been eliminated]. Adnan Rashid is absolutely hammering Abu Khadeejah as he begins to lift up Abu Khadeejah over the top rope, (like a coiled viper ready to strike), Saajid pushes Adnan Rashid over as well. [Double elimination. Abu Khadeejah & Adnan Rashid] As Saajid turns around, he is met with a kick to the stomach from Abu Ibraheem Husanayn. Just as Abu Ibraheem was about to go to work on Saajid, Moderate Yasir Qadhi comes in with the save!  

Moderate Yasir Qadhi: “You know Saajid, I forgive you. Releasing the private conversations. A man’s gotta eat, a channel’s gotta get clicks. Just know that forgiveness is from the Sunnah.” [Saajid looks down at the mat ashamed as the crowd turns their attention to the buzzer.] 

ENTRANT 22: Jonathan A.C Brown.  

Jonathan A.C Brown runs to the ring like a man possessed! [He drops Saajid, as Moderate Yasir Qadhi tries to stop him.] Jonathan A.C Brown does a triple cartwheel and double back flip and lands on the top rope. He throws caution to the wind as he uses his own body as a missile to come crashing down on Dawah Man, Farid and Shamsi.  

Commentator Joe Rogan: “Somebody call Batman because we just found the Boy Wonder.” 

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “Jonathan be nibble, Jonathan be quick, Jonathan jump over the candle stick!”  

Jonathan up on his feet turns around to see an incoming Abu Ibraheem Husanayn. Jonathan dives through the ropes only to greet Abu Ibraheem with the ground and pound. Shamsi is laid out in the corner as Dawah Man turns his vitriolic on Farid.  

Dawah Man: “You, you Farid schmoozing up with the Ikwanis! Why you on your channel promoting Star Bucks Yeah? You know the logo is of a Mythical Greek Siren. Her hair didn’t always cover her breast! Up until 1987 they used to shower her breast! She was spreading her tail open for the whole world! Ya Akhi this is no good! You going to be driving one-night, live streaming and get into a car accident and die. You will die with that damnable cursed cup of that mythical Greek siren in your hands! It’s poisonous fluids emasculating your soul! You really think Ahmad Ibn Hanbal would be drinking that filth yeah? Definitely not! Off the manhaj! The people who make snowmen, make figures, the people who drink Starbucks, and the hypocrites will be in the lowest part of the hellfire! You probably one of them Muslims who believe there is no wrong side of the bread to put the peanut butter on innit? Sick!”  

ENTRANT 23: Mufti Muhammad Ibn Muneer  

Mufti Muneer goes straight for Shamsi! Time to settle some old scores. The two of them start brawling in the ring. Farid and Dawah Man trade blows. Saajid and Moderate Yasir Qadhi going back and forth, trading punches, trading low blows. Abu Ibraheem and Jonathan Brown are rolling around on the mat. [The crowd cannot contain themselves the building is erupting with fluctuations of cheering and booing]  

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

ENTRANT 24: Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari. [The place has exploded with excitement. They have no clue what to do or how to process this.] 

The wrestlers don’t really notice. They keep brawling. They’ve all been beaten severely. Abu Mussab turns his attention upon Mufti Muhammad Ibn Muneer. Shamsi is breathless as Mufti Muneer delivers offence with technical precision. Abu Mussab grabs Mufti Muneer with the Belly to Back Suplex. As Mufti Muneer gets up Abu Mussab hits him with the Shining Wizard. [Abu Mussab just taunting Mufti Muneer to get back up]. As Mufti gets up dazed and confused, here comes Abu Mussab off the top rope with the 450 splash! Shamsi picks up Mufti Muneer as Abu Mussab sends Mufti Muneer over the top rope with a drop kick! [16th man eliminated] Abu Mussab signals Shamsi to unfold the chair. Abu Ibraheem Husanayn sends Jonathan A.C Brown towards the chair, as Abu Mussab trips Jonathan sending his head right into the chair cracking him open! This is just brutal! The EMTs are on standby to help them.  Abu Mussab, Abu Ibrahim and Shamsi come to assist Saajid. Moderate Yasir Qadhi is getting absolutely destroyed. Abu Ibraheem with a Power Bomb to Moderate Yasir Qadhi. Diving Elbow Drop on Moderate Yasir Qadhi delivered by Saajid. Abu Mussab grabs the mic:  

Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari: “We take on all comers. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Allah has a face, Allah has a foot, Allah has a shin. You know someone is off the manhaj when they go against the Qur’an, the Sunnah [Or Saudi Arabia yells Shamsi] yes, yes I was coming to that, or says anything against Saudi Arabia.” Farid is lying exhausted in the corner, soaked in blood and sweat. Dawah Man comes over and snatches the mic from Abu Mussab.  

Dawah Man: “You forgot to add ‘in a way that befits his majesty’. I have had you figured out a long time now Abu Fitnah. Always wondered what was up with your beard! Advertising the Terminator Action figure, exposing this ummah to action figures! Figurines on your YouTube video ‘Turbanators’ and wearing that ridiculous Hat. Who you supposed to be a bald version of Adam Driver in the movie ‘A Winner’s Journey’? Also, what the hell is that smell? You smell like a bag of wet grandmas! 

In your YouTube video ‘Should We Listen to Yasir Qadhi?’ you are wearing your Nike Air Sweater! Millions of children without clothes. You act like you can’t afford the Sunnah! Astaghfirullah! Say, ‘Astaghfirullah Abu Mussab!’ Repent you filthy mubtaadi! You support Nike? Is it? Nike the goddess of Victory? There is only one God! La Ilaha il law lah” [Dawah Man delivers a famouser on Abu Mussab] as Abu Ibraheem and Saajid assist Abu Mussab against Dawah Man.  

ENTRANT 25: Abu Usamah At-Thahabi  

Abu Usamah brings the offence to Shamsi. Gives the T Bone Suplex to Abu Ibraheem. Moderate Yasir Qadhi is back up and Farid drops him with a Russian Leg Sweep. Dawah Man stuns Saajid and has Abu Mussab in the Dragon Sleeper (Abu Mussab furiously taps the canvas). He needs to realize there are no tap outs. You can only eliminate or get eliminated by throwing a man over the top ropes (and his feet hit the canvas outside). A bloodied Jonathan AC Brown is back up. Jonathan and Farid trade clothes lines. They do the double clothesline thing so they’re both out of commission and the fans are focused solely on Dawah Man and Abu Mussab. [The place is buzzing]. Abu Usamah has Shamsi almost over the ropes, but Abu Ibraheem come to assist. Abu Usamah has Abu Ibraheem up over his shoulders and as he climbs to the second rope here comes Shamsi from behind with the opportunistic push. [The 17th and 18th man have been eliminated.] We have 12 men left! Shamsi jumps up and down with excitement. Shamsi quickly turns his attention to Dawah Man. Saajid takes the opportunity to sneak up behind Abu Mussab and deliver a low blow. Abu Mussab turns around shocked and head butts Saajid.  

One of the security guards on the outside of the ring slides in under the ropes and delivers a crushing spear to Abu Mussab. He takes off his glasses and his hat only to be revealed as Justin Beiber!  

Commentator Jim Ross: “By Gawd the Beast Incarnate Justin Beiber has just speared Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari. Abu Mussab is broken in half.”  

Commentator Joe Rogan: “This is unreal!”  

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “Indeed it is but after today I am a Belieber” (as he flashes the peace sign at the cameras)  

Justin Beiber grabs the mic: “That was for a Selena! Keep out of her DMs on Instagram you sick punk!” Justin is escorted out of the ring to a mix of cheers and booing. Abu Mussab is lying on the mat holding his ribs.  

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

ENTRANT 26: Nouman Ali Khan  

He comes to the ring and everyone stops fighting briefly to stare in awe. Nouman Ali Khan grabs the mic to cut a sick promo. 

Nouman Ali Khan: “Now I dunno about you people but I am sick and tired of the self-righteousness out there. If a man wants to have more than one wife that is perfectly permissible in this deen! In fact, let me hold up four fingers as I take this mic with the left hand and send a shout out to two of my ninjas out there in the audience.”  

[Camera’s pan around in the audience to detect the Nature Boy Rick Flair standing up giving the four fingers and beside him Andrew Tate]. [Crowd erupts into chants of ‘This is Awesome’] 

Nouman Ali Khan: “Now so what you saw me with my shirt off, I am going to take it off right here right now, because if Mohamed Hijab can do it so can I! In fact, my forth coming book ‘Human Like Me’ addresses the self-righteousness of this community. Right now, in this ring I am surrounded by Cockalorums, Snollygosters, and Ninnyhammers! If you don’t know what it means I suggest you consult Shaykh Google like you always do! I am the N.A.K and the A stands for ‘Alpha’ and right now the Alpha shark says its NAK time!”  

NAK goes absolutely ballistic on everyone in the ring. He is a one-man army! [The crowd cannot control themselves, they are on their feet chanting, “NAKs a Chad!”]  

Moderate Yasir Qadhi and NAK come face to face. Moderate Yasir Qadhi extends his hand (as if to intend an alliance). Nak takes his hand, kicks Moderate Yasir Qadhi in the stomach and delivers a Diamond Cutter! [The crowd erupts]. Saajid has Abu Mussab in the corner. Saajid keeps ramming his head into the ribs of Abu Mussab. Abu Mussab still reeling from that spear, delivered by Justin Beiber. A desperate Abu Mussab reaches forward and grabs a clump of Saajid’s hair pulling it out the socket! What a viscous act of self-defense! Saajid on the mat reeling in pain and holding on to his scalp! NAK with a Death Valley Driver delivered to Jonathan AC Brown. NAK and Farid attacking Shamsi in the corner. Dawah man goes over to an injured Saajid and starts in with the Dawah roasting: 

Dawah Man: “And you Saajid. I always make sure when I leave your presence to sprinkle a little salt n pepper on my back so it goes down well. You feel me? You lil backbiter! Fastest way to lose weight is to get on your bad side! You can chomp a man down to size! I hear you are a real ‘G’ on Roblox. Creating multiple accounts on Roblox and telling lil kids their character looks basic. Grieving lil kids. You are a real Philanthropist. Creating Smurf accounts on Call of Duty and recking noobs! You think you’re a big man huh?” 

Dawah Man applies the Sharp Shooter onto Saajid. Shamsi knees Dawah Man in the face for the save. 

ENTRANT 27: Daniel Haaiqatjou. [The fans pop like crazy] 

Commentator Joe Rogan: “I need him on podcast!” 

Commentator Jim Ross: “Finally! A Son of Texas is in the house! The Edge lord!”  

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “Somewhere right now Linda Sarsour is popping some Xanax.”  

He enters the ring and the place is going wild!! No one ever thought they would see the Texas Edge Lord! He grabs the mic: 

Daniel Haaqiqatjou: “The truth has come and the falsehood has vanished. I am the Edge Lord. Here to separate the Men from the Soy Boys. If any of you Low T’s want some come get some!”  

Wasting no time Daniel rushes towards Jonathan Ac Brown and puts him outstretched on his back. Going to the corner of the ring, Daniel see’s Moderate Yasir Qadhi coming in from behind, turns around and delivers a Brain Buster to Moderate Yasir Qadhi. He delivers a Muscle Buster to Jonathan AC Brown and picks him up and throws him out of the ring. [The 19th man has been eliminated]. This is followed up quickly by a Side Slam followed by a spring board version of the Fisherman’s Suplex and this catapults Moderate Yasir Qadhi out of the ring! [The 20th man has been eliminated]. Daniel comes face to face with NAK and delivers a body slam To Nak. An exhausted Abu Mussab shouts out to the crowd, “Underoos!”  

Suddenly a fan jumps over the barricade, he pepper sprays several security guards and throws a hammer into the ring for Abu Mussab. Cameras reveal that it is none other than Hammer Time Wood, David Wood! Abu Mussab uses the hammer to knock Daniel in the back of the head. Abu Mussab signals a thumbs up to David Wood and a wink as David Wood is escorted by police and security out of the building. Abu Mussab grabs the mic.  

Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari: “Serves you right Daniel! You spend too much time defending Islam and attacking the liberals. Your channel should spend more time attacking fellow Muslims! Also, you need to speak more about Allah’s foot, shin, and acts like jogging and laughing.”

Farid Responds comes from the front and delivers a bicycle kick to Abu Mussab. Farid picks Abu Mussab up by his hair and puts him over his shoulders and spins him around and around and around and then tosses him over the rope. Farid Responds grabs the mic. 

Farid Responds: “That was for Palestine! You make me sick!” [The crowd cheers Farid, as the 21st man has been eliminated]

Saajid sneaks up from behind Farid and pushes him into the rope. As Farid bounces back Saajid and Shamsi do a double Gut Wrench Powerbomb. Saajid and Shamsi have Farid up over the ropes. Nak gets up in time to try and save him but is blindsided by Dawah Man. Saajid and Shamsi send Farid over the ropes. [The crowd boos, as the 22nd man has been eliminated]. Saajid, Shamsi and Dawah Man begin to encircle NAK like a pack of ravenous hyenas. The buzzer sounds. 

ENTRANT 28: Ali Dawah  

Ali Dawah makes his way down the ramp riding a little kids Big Wheel. It is blinged out with Diamonds and Silver. Taking his time to the ring he signs merchandise and ask people to like and subscribe to his channel. A dizzy Daniel Haaqiqatjou gets up only to be clotheslined by Shamsi. NAK does a double clothesline on Saajid and Dawah Man and the crowd cheers. Everyone is trying to eliminate Nak, the Chad, but fail. Bodies everywhere on the mat. Nak stands in the middle of the ring flexing and posing. Nak points to Ali Dawah to get in the ring. Ali Dawah continues to sign merchandise and solicit calls for subscribes to his channel.  

Commentator Joe Rogan: “Is he eating grapes?” 

Commentator Jim Ross: “Apparently so, and I thought Gold dust was bizarre.” 

Suddenly an energized Daniel gets up and hits NAK with a Rolling Elbow followed by a Snap Suplex. Ali Dawah rolls into the ring and the first thing he notices is a downed Saajid. Ali Dawah pointing to Saajid’s head (referring to the clump of hair pulled out by Abu Mussab earlier) and starts laughing hysterically. This angers Saajid who delivers a Swinging Neck Breaker to Ali Dawah. Shamsi and Daniel brawl for a bit. This Rumble is not stale like so many in the past. The ratings on social media are through the roof! Nak has Dawah Man on the second rope about to throw him over, but Dawah Man twist this into a Drop Cradle and brings Nak to the mat! Ali Dawah is up on his feet and spits on Saajid. Saajid is visibly disgusted and tries to wipe bits of grape off his face. Ali Dawah hits Saajid with the curb stomp but Saajid is unfazed. [The place is buzzing recalling various feuds between Ali and Saajid]. Ali Dawah tries to eliminate Saajid but the buzzer is about to go off and introduce the 29th man. 

[crowd in sync with the countdown timer] 

ENTRANT 29: Ustaz Abdul Rahman  

Ustaz Abdul Rahman enters the ring and hits Ali Dawah with a Neck Breaker. Both Ustaz Abdul Rahman and Saajid put Ali Dawah in the centre of the ring. They each climb opposite ropes and hit Ali Dawah each with a Shooting Star Press. Ali Dawah has just vomited some grapes he ate earlier all over the mat! Saajid is disgusted and kicks Ali Dawah in the head. They both turn their attention to Daniel, and they both assist Shamsi. Shamsi and Ustaz Abdul Rahman send Daniel into the ropes and down him with a devastating clothes line. Dawah Man is up on the top ropes and hits NAK with a Seated Senton! Ustaz Abdul Rahman tells Dawah Man, “Let me show you how it is done.” He goes to throw Nak over but Nak reverses it and now it is Ustaz Abdul Rahman dangling by a thread. A single pinky finger holds onto the ropes. His left foot is planted firmly on the floor. It is going down! Nak’s time has come! But no! Abdul Rahman gets a grip and skins the cat to get back into the ring. Nak lays out Ustaz Abdul Rahman, He lays out Saajid, he lays out Shamsi and the place has erupted as the last man comes down to the ring. Who will be the 30th man? 

ENTRANT 30: Mohamed Hijab!!! [The place has erupted again! Huge pop for Hijab as he rushes down to the ring] We are down to nine men! One of these men will be, ‘The One Upon the Manhaj’.  

Hijab dashes into the ring. He stuns Shamsi, He stuns Abdul Rahman, he stuns Saajid, he stuns Dawah Man and he comes face to face with NAK. Mohamed Hijab see’s that NAK is without a shirt. Hijab takes his shirt off. He grabs the mic!  

Mohamed Hijab: “Finally the Hijab has come back to WEMBLEY STADIUM” [The crowd is absolutely nuts]  

Mohamed Hijab: “Yes, yes, and I have a message to all the lil Madkhalites in the audience. You’re finished! You’re Finished! C’mon everyone ‘Not East, Not West Islam is the Best’. ” [Half the crowd starts chanting, ‘Not East Not West Islam is the Best’ the other half are booing]

Mohamed Hijab: “Oh really? We have people booing against Islam is the best? Sounds like we have some Madhkhalite who still wet the bed among us!” Nak grabs the mic from Hijab.  

Nouman Ali Khan: “I’ve got some nasheeha for you Hijab. Why don’t you keep the slogans but lose the body fat.” [NAK looks down at Hijab’s tummy as the crowd starts laughing]. This sets Hijab off and the two of them start battling.  Hijab hits NAK with a Clothesline From Hell. This is followed by a Superman Punch. Nak staggers back into Daniel whom bends down to allow NAK to tumble over his back into the ropes. Hijab is up on the Ropes and hits Nak with the Harlem Hangover. Just before Daniel can shake the ropes while Hijab is on it. Ali Dawah slides out of the ring and grabs some little kids drink (who starts crying). Ali drinks the kids drink (presumably to clear up the vomit from earlier). He trips Saajid who is up and drags him outside of the ring. While the battle continues in the ring Saajid and Ali battle outside the ring.  

They battle outside the ring, in the back, outside the arena even. It is a hard-core match at times too. Trash cans, chairs, it gets down right personal. Ali Dawah grabs a soda from a child in the audience, he takes a few sips and then throws the drink in Saajid’s face. Ali Dawah keeps laughing at Saajid’s hair (or bald patch). Eventually they make their way back into the ring and Ali hits Saajid one last time with a chair to the skull. Saajid is dazed. Ali then grabs Saajid by the head, lobs him over the top rope, but Saajid has both his hands around Ali’s wrist. Ali is only holding on to Saajids hair. Suddenly Ali has a huge clump of Saajid’s hair as Saajid goes tumbling to the ring. [The 23rd man has been eliminated]. Ali Dawah is laughing and sticking out his tongue at Saajid as Shamsi comes up behind him delivering a powerful German Suplex sending Ali’s body flying like a rag doll across the ring. Daniel hits Hijab with a Tazplex. Ustaz Abdul Rahman hits Dawah man with a Lionsault. Hijab is up on his feet and hits NAK with a clothes line. He picks up NAK and tosses him over the rope. [The 24th man has been eliminated the crowd boos. Yet they show appreciation for NAK by chanting, ‘You’re still a Chad’] Daniel tries to give the five moves of doom to Hijab who is unfazed. So, Daniel brings out the sixth move of doom but it too doesn’t work. Daniel uses the Mandible Claw on Hijab.  

Commentator Joe Rogan: “Oh this is just gross.”  

Commentator Jim Ross: “Mankind, Dude Love and Cactus Jack would all be proud!” 

Commentator Hamza Yusuf: “The objective of the ‘Mandible Claw’ is to shove one’s hand into an opponent’s mouth, forcing his fingers into the soft tissue under the tongue, causing pain and temporary paralysis.” 

Shamsi and Ustaz Abdul Rahman are ganging up on Dawah Man. They then turn their attention to Daniel and Hijab. Ustaz Abdul Rahman hits Daniel with the Three Amigos. Shamsi gets Hijab up and hits Hijab with three tomb stones. Hijab kicks out of each one of them even though there are no pin falls. Hijab still chocked up after having Daniel’s fingers down his throat. He is visibly dazed. Ustaz Abdul Rahman hits Hijab with the Three Amigos. Shamsi has Hijab up on the third rope. Hijab is dazed. Ustaz Abdul Rahman is knelt down in front of the ropes as Shamsi goes back and forth between the ropes running and picking up steam. Shamsi jumps up on Ustaz Abdul Rahmam’s clasped hands to knock Hijab off the top rope but before he can do so Ali Dawah jumps in front of Shamsi taking the hit for Hijab. [The crowd is going wild] 

Ali Dawah is out cold. Ustaz Abdul Rahman and Shamsi both lift up Ali Dawah and throw him over the top rope. [The 25th man has been eliminated]. Dawah Man is up and he pushes Shamsi into Ustaz Abdul Rahman who hits his head on the ring post only to be met by Daniel. Daniel kisses Ustaz Abdul Rahman on the forehead and hits him with the Sister Abagail. Clearly drained Daniel struggles to pick up Ustaz Abdul Rahman. Abdul Rahman scratches Daniel in the eyes. Hijab see’s this and delivers a Superman Punch to Shamsi and quickly comes over and pushes Ustaz Abdul Rahman over the top rope. [The 26th man has been eliminated].  

This is what it has come downed to!! 

Hijab in one corner. Daniel in one corner. Shamsi in one corner. Dawah Man in one corner. Who will be the one upon the manhaj?  

At this time Shamsi and Dawah Man get back up and resume brawling. Shamsi hits Dawah Man with a Death Valley Driver. Hijab hits Daniel with a Samoan drop. Hijab comes over to Shamsi grabs him throws him into the ropes and as he bounces back Hijab picks him up and lets him go crashing down on the canvas. Shamsi is exhausted and breathless. Hijab musters the strength to hit Shamsi with a Batista bomb. Shamsi cannot stand. Hijab picks up Shamsi and tosses him over the ring as he falls back to the canvas. [The 27th man has been eliminated and the crowd is on their feet.] Daniel hits Dawah man with the Chokeslam from hell. This is followed up with a Cesaro Swing. Dawah man is tossed like a rag doll across the ring. Daniel gets to work on Hijab.  

The biggest threat in this Dawah that Daniel has ever seen was right in front of him. Hijab has eliminated legends. But there was one legend he could not beat. Daniel! Fans don’t know how to process this as it is proper good. So much is on the line.  Hijab and Daniel wrestle for a good 20 minutes. It is a war!  

Daniel hits Hijab with a Tomb Stone Pile Driver. Hijab gets up and Daniel sends him into the ropes. Hiijab hits Daniel with Sweet Chin Music. Daniel gets up and hits Hijab with a DDT. Hijab gets dropped. Daniel picks up Hijab and has him over the ropes but Hijab holds on to Daniel’s tights. Daniel is on the third rope about to suplex Hijab. Dawah man sees his opportunity.  

Dawah man rushes over with purpose and conviction. He knocks the both of them off the top rope!  

He drops to his knees and cries. There are fireworks and pyro technics. The One Upon the Manhaj sign is lowered to the floor and Imran Ibn Mansur hugs it. [ 90,000 people on are their feet. Everyone is applauding, cheering, crying, booing and celebrating.] 

Here is your winner and the man who will go on to boast for years to come as the ‘One Upon the Manhaj‘. IMRAN IBN MANSUR AKA DAWAH MAN!!  

Good night from all of us at Wembley Stadium!

Eliminations. 

1 Abu Iyyad Amjad Rariq eliminated by Shaykh Feiz Mohammad 

2 Brother Haji eliminated by (Saajid Lipham & Shamsi) 

3 Shaykh Uthman ibn Farooq eliminated by Hamza Tzortizis 

4 Abu Hakim Bilal Davis eliminated by Hamza Tzortizis 

5 Abdul Hamid (Hyde Park Dawah) eliminated by Abu Khadeejah 

6 Ahmad Saboor eliminated by (Shamsi & Shaykh Assim Hakeem) 

7 Sheikh Feiz Mohamed eliminated by (Shamsi & Shaykh Assim Hakeem & Abu Khadeejah eliminate) 

8 Shaykh Assim Hakeem eliminated by Hamza Tzortizis 

9 Woke Yasir Qadhi eliminated by Moderate Yasir Qadhi 

10 EDF Hamza eliminated by (Abu Khadeeja & Based Yasir Qadhi) 

11 Based Yasir Qadhi eliminated by Moderate Yasir Qadhi 

12 Hamza Tzortizis eliminated by (Abu Khadeeja & Abu Ibraheem Husnayn) 

13 Anjem Chowdry eliminated by Moderate Yasir Qadhi 

14 & 15 Abu Khadeejah and Adnan Rashid double elimination by Saajid Lipham 

16 Mufti Muhammad Ibn Muneer eliminated by Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari. 

17 & 18 Abu Usamah At-Thahabi & Abu Ibraheem Husanayn double elimination by Shamsi. 

19 Jonathan AC Brown eliminated by Daniel Haaiqatjou. 

20 Moderate Yasir Qadhi eliminated by Daniel Haaiqatjou 

21 Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkar eliminated by Farid Responds. 

22 Farid Responds eliminated by Shamsi and Saajid Lipham) 

23 Saajid Lipham eliminated by Ali Dawah 

24 Nouman Ali Khan eliminated by Mohamed Hijab 

25 Ali Dawah eliminated by Shamsi and Ustaz Abdul Rahman 

26 Ustaz Abdul Rahman eliminated by Mohamed Hijab 

27 Shamsi is eliminated by Mohamed Hijab 

28 & 29 Mohamed Hijab and Daniel Haaiqatjou double elimination by Dawah Man 

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Mufti Tariq Masood About Firka E ibadiyya In Oman

“That Allah may repay the truthful for their truthfulness.” (Qur’an 33:24)

Mufti Tariq Masood gives a talk about the Ibadi school in Oman. Especially interesting is the comment section of other Muslims/Non Muslims who have lived in Oman and have been among the Ahl Haqq Wal Istiqamah.

There is great affinity of the Deobandi for the ‘Ulemah of Ahl Haqq Wal Istiqamah.

Since I have traveled with the tablighi jamaat, and have gone out on khuruj (with has the same etymological root as Kharijite), I guess that makes me and my brothers from the Tabligh, Khariji in that sense! HAHAHA!

Some little light humor is in order from time to time.

Any ways may Allah (swt) bless Mufti Tariq Masood.

Our noble Shaykh, Ahmad bin Hamad al-Khalili, the grand mufti of Oman congratulated the Taliban on their takeover of Afghanistan.

https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/afghanistan-taliban-oman-grand-mufti-congratulates-clear-victory

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Allah has two hands and both his hands are right hands? (and he has a left hand)

“There is nothing like Him: He is the All Hearing, the All Seeing.” (Qur’an 42:11)

“Do you say things regarding Allah that you do not know?” (Qur’an 7:28)

There are those who make it a point of aqidah/imam a creedal position to assert that Allah (swt) has two hands, and a left hand, and both of his hand are right hands. We must accept this “without asking how“. Than they also turn around and say, “but the meaning is known.

Interestingly this issue is not about denying/affirming any attribute of Allah (swt). Nor is about the way of the Salaaf, it is a simply matter of does the Arabic language have idioms and expressions? Apparently some people in the Muslim community simply do not get this!

Thus, they will go on an inquisition and label as deviants anyone who does not hold to the idea that Allah (swt) has two hands, and a left hand, and both of his hands are right hands.

That is correct you heard them. Allah (swt) has “two right hands

I came across a Hadith of Sahih Muslim which states:
“Abdullah b. ‘Umar reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) saying: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, would fold the Heavens on the Day of Judgment and then He would place them on His right hand and say: I am the Lord; where are the haughty and where are the proud (today)? He would fold the’ earth (placing it) on the left hand and say: I am the Lord; where are the haughty and where are the proud (today)?

BOTH OF ALLAH’S “HANDS” ARE RIGHT HANDS?

Now you can clearly see from the above text that many Salafi preachers have asserted that Allah (swt) has two hands and that “both his hands are right hands.” They get that from the above hadith!

Yet, this hadith is Mudraj:

Mudraj – interpolated: an addition by a reporter to the text of the hadith being narrated. It even tells you in the hadith itself! Muhammad (one of narrators said in his Hadith: “And both of His hands are right hands.”

How does one not see that?!

This cannot be said to be attributed to the Blessed Messenger (saw). This is the statement of the sub-narrator. These people in their guilty conscious did not want people to think Allah (swt) has a left hand. Which also shows they are involved in dhan (speculation) about Allah (swt). They did not just let the words pass they had to make bold assertions without proof!

Some of the claimants to the Salaaf who hold these positions will expose themselves by blatantly comparing Allah (swt) to the creation by saying something along the following:

“You see akhi All of Allah’s attributes (hands, shin, face ect) can be described as right. Right here means blessed (تَيَمُّن). As Muslims we know the right is preferred and more virtuous than the left “So those on the Right Hand (i.e. those who will be given their Records in their right hands) – how (fortunate) will be those on the Right Hand! (As a respect for them, because they will enter Paradise).” (Qur’an 56:8) “And those on the Left Hand (i.e. those who will be given their Record in their left hands) – how (unfortunate) will be those on the Left Hand! (As a disgrace for them, because they will enter Hell).”(Qur’an 56:9)

This is Tamthil clear as day. Let us say for the sake of discussion that Allah (swt) does indeed have a left hand as Sahih Muslim clearly says he does above. Why would any attribute of Allah (swt) not be blessed? That is a bizarre thought.

Then the person commits a clear act of Tamthil (likening Allah (swt) to the creation) by negating a left hand for Allah (swt) by comparing the unfortunate news of people receiving their records in their left hands and right hands on the day of judgement. But these are actual hands of people!

  1. This claimant to Salafiyah has committed a clear act of Tamthil.
  2. Is negating what clearly says he has: “a left hand” according to the sahih hadith.
  3. Making claims that an attribute of Allah (swt) would not be blessed?!

One of their scholars likened Allah (swt) to the moon!

Let us get something out of the way from the very beginning. There is not a single narration from the Blessed Messenger (saw) where when he speaks of Allah’s “hands” that he (saw), says, “In a way that befits his majesty” or “unlike his creation.”

That is an open challenge. For the person who can bring that I will shut down this website!

I challenge any of those people who make such a disclaimer statement after mentioning “hands”, “foot”, “eyes”, “shin” “leg” “foot” or “side” to show this!

The fact that such people have to put a disclaimer after such a statement is an innovation!

“They have not appraised Allah with true appraisal, while the earth entirely will be within His grip on the Day of Resurrection, and the heavens will be folded in His right hand. Exalted is He and high above what they associate with Him.”(Qur’an 39:67)

This verse also demolishes the claim that Allah (swt) is above the throne in an apparent sense. When Allah (swt) folds up the heavens there goes the throne as well!

“Allah said, “O Iblis, what prevented you from prostrating to that which I created with My hands? Were you arrogant then, or were you already among the haughty?” (Qur’an 38:75)

Some of these people have tried to argue that this word translated as “hands” must be understood as “hands” as something special in relation to the creation of Adam. However, this is refuted by the following text of the Qur’an:

“Do they not see that We have created for them from what Our hands have made, grazing livestock, and then they are their owners?”(Qur’an 36:71)

Are we to say that cattle have an advantage or distinction over other animals because they were created by the “hands” of Allah?

“And the sky we built it with hands.” (Qur’an 51:47)

Look at how all three of these Saudi English translations of the Qur’an translate the above text!!

“And the heaven We constructed with strength, and indeed, We are its expander.”(Qu’ran 51:47 Sahih International)

“With power did we Construct heaven. Verily, We are able to extend the vastness of space thereof.” (Qur’an 51:47 Muhsin Khan & Muhammed Al Hilali)

“With power and skill did We construct the Firmament: for it is We Who create the vastness of pace.” (Qur’an 51:47 Yusuf Ali Saudi 1985)

The hands of Allah (swt) tied up?

“And the Jews say, ‘The hand of Allah is tied up.’ Chained are their hands, and cursed are they for what they say. Rather, both His Hands are extended, HE spends however He Wills.” (Qur’an 5:64)

It is obvious, to begin with, that this very verse is allegorical. The Jews are not literally saying that Allah’s hand is “tied up”. Rather they are claiming that Allah (swt) is not bestowing upon them what they feel he should bestow. What this verse means is that both the power and generosity of Allah (swt) is on full display.

“He wrote the Tawrāt for you with His Own Hand.”

Source: (Bukhāri, no. 6614, Muslim, no. 80)

Other uses of the word hand in the Qur’an.

“Indeed, those who pledge allegiance to you, they are actually pledging allegiance to Allah. The hand of Allah is over their hands. So he who breaks his word only breaks it to the detriment of himself. And he who fulfills that which he has promised Allah – He will give him a great reward.” (Qur’an 48:10)

This is a metaphorical usage of the word hand that is allowed within the context of the Qur’an itself. Will it be said that people who have no hands or people who are amputees could never make such a pledge?

“And whatever strikes you of disaster – it is for what your hands have earned, but He pardons much.”(Qur’an 42:30)

Are we to understand from the above verse that as long as we do evil with our tongues, eyes, feet that disaster will not befall us? As far as those who do not have physical hands does this verse still apply to them?

“And also prohibited to you are all married women except those your right hands possess.” (Qur’an 4:24)

Are we to understand by this verse that a person who has no right hand or a person who was an amputee would not be permitted to marry women as he has no “right hand” to possess them? Certainly not.

“Oh Prophet, say to whoever is in your hands of the captives, “If Allah knows any good in your hearts, He will give you something better than what was taken from you, and He will forgive you, and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Qur’an 8:70)

Are we supposed to imagine that the Blessed Prophet (saw) was a giant with little tiny people in his hands!?!

“And remember Our servants Ibrahim and Ishaq and Yaqoub, men who possessed hands and vision.” (Qur’an 38:45)

Here the word hands literally do mean power. Look how virtually everyone under the sun translates this!

https://www.islamawakened.com/quran/38/45/default.htm

“Or he in whose hand is the knot of marriage remits.” (Qur’an 2:237)

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Why do Salafi Muslims believe that Allah chuckles at the despair of the Palestinians?

Say, “My Lord has only forbidden immoralities – what is apparent of them and what is concealed – and sin, and oppression without right, and that you associate with Allah that for which He has not sent down authority, and that you say about Allah that which you do not know.” (Qur’an 7:33) 

Abu Razeen reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah chuckles  at the despair of His servants as He soon changes it.” I said, “O Messenger of Allah, does the Lord chuckle?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “We will never be deprived of good by a Lord who chuckles.”

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Introduction,  Hadith Number 181)

“The Messenger of Allah said: Allah chuckles at the despair of His slaves although He soon changes it.’
I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, does the Lord chuckle?’ ‘He said: ‘Yes.’ I said: ‘We shall never be deprived of good by a Lord Who chuckles.”

Now if we take this hadith alone it is challenging to suggest that chuckling/laughing can be interpreted as Mercy. Because, even the companion ask, ‘Does Allah chuckle?’ and it would be difficult to imagine the companion asking, ‘Does the Lord show Mercy’. I mean we recite the Qur’an as bismillah ir rahman ir raheem. Most Merciful and Most Compassionate.

However, this is a lone narrator report. We in Ahl Haqq Wal Istiqamah (The Ibadi School) we do not make lone narrator reports as a basis for our faith. What we do is look at other ahadith where these idioms are used to show if there is other meanings.

It takes a depraved human being and a twisted imagination to suggest that Allah (swt) would have a hearty chuckle at the despair and misery of humanity.

Children being sexually abused by their parents.

People starting to death in this world.

You going to say that Allah (swt) is laughing/chuckling at this?!

Either the people who invent such falsehoods have a very low estimation of the Divine, or the Creator they worship is more horribly morbid than the darkest corner of human imagination could fathom.

However, because this hadith is graded as ‘Hasan’ those who take the lone narrator reports will insist,

We believe that Allah chuckles/laughs …with the disclaimer (in a way that befits his majesty!

“It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said:  Allah chuckles at the two men both of whom will enter Paradise (though) one of them kills the other. They said: Messenger of Allah, how is it? He said: One of them fights in the way of Allah, the Almighty, and Exalted. and dies a martyr. Then Allah turns in mercy to the murderer who embraces Islam, fights in the way of Allah, the Almighty, and Exalted, and dies a martyr.”  (‘Sahih’ Muslim Kitab Al-Imara hadith number 4658)

If we understand the mention about Allah (swt) chuckling as his act of Mercy than this is not a problem. It is an idiom or an expression.

However, if as some in the Muslim community do (ever ready to kick every one else out of Islam), insist that we have to take this at the apparent meaning it is very dark.

These kinds of hadiths are reminiscent of the stuff attributed to Allah (swt) in the Bible.

“And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people.” (Exodus 32:14)

“The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.” (Genesis 6:6)

So we would take the two hadith and combine them and our understanding would be the laughing/chuckling as an idiom or expression of Allah’s mercy that is soon to follow any act of despair, as long as the people put their tawakkul (trust) in Allah (swt).

“Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (Qur’an 39:53)

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EF Dawah Discussion with Josh (Jewish) | Is the Quran Being Uncreated Against Tawheed?

“Indeed, We have made it an Arabic Qur’an that you might understand.” (Qur’an 43:3)

I never me this beautiful soul, Joshua but may Allah (swt) bless him and guide him! He is a very intelligent man. This makes sense. I have a feeling that he is keen on Islam, however, just as he is aware that Judaism has various debates on various issues he also is smart enough to know that the house of Islam, unfortunately is not one big happy family.

Probing positions and views before deciding to commit to something IS an intelligent thing to do!

This man, Joshua, had Ali Dawah on the ropes when they were discussing the issue of rather or not Allah (swt) rested. Because, using a consistent approach Ali Dawah began to realize he had no scope to argue with the forceful position of this young man. To Ali Dawah’s credit he didn’t force the issue.

Now to this topic: Discussion with Josh (Jewish) | Is the Quran Being Uncreated Against Tawheed?

Abbas: “I don’t think it was its attribute, we, we’ve I think we’ve answered the question many times that with the knowledge of Allah the Qur’an would have existed eternally. See. The actual physical book the mushaaf that was sent down and this is obviously an English translation but the actual Arabic text when it was written down it is something that once it gets old its even burnt or its buried or whatever. To dispose of it in a respectful way.


Abbas: Burning it is actually not disrespectful in Islam. It’s a valid way of getting rid of an old manuscript that’s damaged and can’t be read so you would have to have a new copy or whatever and the old one would be respectfully ah sort of ah you know gone away with in that way. But the knowledge of Allah, as a Jew umm I think that you would accept that whatever knowledge Allah has, for example the Torah itself. Would you say that the Torah itself is something that came into existence or did God have that in his knowledge but bring it into existence when he choose to.

Josh: So I believe that the Torah was in fact created. Only God himself is uncreated. But everything with in the so called “knowledge” of God is created at some point.

Abbas: Right so than are you saying that there was a time when God did not know of the Torah?

Joshua: No, there was not a “time” before it because God is above time. So God created time. Rather or not God created the Torah before he created time is not something I know.

Abbas: So, basically what were saying is that was there ever a moment when God did not know of the Torah.

Joshua. In a sense yes. Prior to the creation of the Torah there could be no knowledge of the Torah.

Abbas: So there was a moment when God had no knowledge of the Torah. (Now there is a moment there where the video does a flash sequence. I do not know if that means the video was edited or that is just a video effect.)

Joshua: Yes

Hamza: So you don’t believe God has all full knowledge.

Joshua, No because, because knowledge we believe is an attribute of God. God’s omniscience is an attribute of him. Therefore he created his own omniscience.

Abbas: Josh is that a mainstream Jewish belief? In terms of actual rabbinical grounding. That the Torah, at one point God did not actually know what he was going to say. What God was going to give to Moses.

Hamza (interrupts): Josh do you believe that God knows the future?

Josh: Yes, because there is no future when it comes to God. Cause for God all time, past, present and future (could make out due to Hamza speaking over).

Hamza: So than God knows what the Torah isn’t it always?

(The team got Josh to admit they had a point that there could be no ‘before’ as he (Joshua) just admitted that past/present/future….)

Imran: (The best listener out of the bunch imo) he pivots back to the original question: Your question was really an interesting one because you, you raised this as a question about Tawhid. And you said that this is uh it requires an explanation having the Qur’an as an uncreated statement that the Qur’an is uncreated and than you have Allah who is eternal does it effect Tawhid in any way. That was really underlying thing that I think you were trying to get to. So I am going to give you an analogy. Now obviously all analogies are imperfect and we can’t perfect analogies particularly when it comes to the Creator. But I am gonna try and give an analogy to drawn on and explain. So your speaking right Josh?

Josh: Yes

Imran: Can your speech exist without you? (Can you exist without speaking)

Josh: I don’t know. Can my speech. Theoretically there could be my speech without me. I suppose. I’m not sure though.

Imran: I would say that that’s clearly, that clearly the answer to that question is No. Um I don’t know how your thinking…if you did not exist could your speech exist?

Josh: Depends. If my speech has to if there’s prerequisite to the existence of my speech is the existence of myself.

Imran: Sorry, sorry to interrupt you. Your thinking. I don’t understand your thinking process. What your doing is your taking this speech and your giving it attributes. Now we agreed that speech is an attribute of the Creator. We’ve agreed this. Like just as speech manifest from you. Now the question is do the attributes exist on their own or not?

Joshua: With regards to attributes of myself or attributes of God?

Imran: So the analogy is to get you to think about the Creator. I am trying to use yourself as an example just to try and give that. So for example is: Can your speech exist without you?

Joshua: So if we (God forbid) leave God out of this picture for this particular analogy. Um otherwise it’s going to get far too complicated. Then for sure, than you would be right that my speech could not exist without me.

Imran: So now I’m going to say now let’s talk about the Creator. Now I’m going to say the attributes of the Creator can’t exist without the Creator.

Joshua: Yes that’s true.

Imran: Yup so now we don’t have a conflation between were not comparing two different things. The Qur’an is the speech of Allah. It’s an attribute you understand? So now the question comes. When were talking about (holds up the Qur’an) the text do we/are we referring to that attribute or not? So there’s two things and now we have to differentiate this. The attribute we’ve agreed is eternal. Why? Because the Creator is eternal the attribute is eternal. Therefore the Qur’an is uncreated and eternal. So now that’s a dealt with thing. This is a (holding up the Qur’an) a creation, like somebody has put these pages together, written the pages and the ink down. This (holding up the Qur’an) is not that, attribute.

Joshua: I understand the difference between the written Qur’an and the spoken Qur’an that (unintelligible as Imran talked over him.

Imran: So that means coming to the concept of Tawhid it doesn’t impact that at all. Another example would be: Creation. One of the attributes of God is that he is the Creator. Now, (we agree with this yeah?)

Joshua: Yes

Imran: So the creative command, is not separate from the creator in any sense, right?

Joshua: I would disagree with that because prior to because prior to having created anything how can God be considered to be a Creator? In order to be a Creator you need to have a creation.

Imran: So o.k that’s interesting so I think that you sorry Hamza you wanna…

Hamza: You don’t need to create to have the attribute of a Creator you just need to create to demonstrate the attribute.

Joshua: But that depends on how we understand what the attribute is. Um so, let me just think about how to explain

Hamza: (getting visibly impatient) Oh o.k before Allah, before God created the universe you believe God created the universe?

Joshua: Yes.

Hamza: Did he have the attribute of Creator?

Joshua: Before he created anything he did not….

Hamza: Did he have the attribute of Creator?

Joshua: No

Hamza: (Surprised) No!? How did he create than?

Imran: O.K. Let’s change the word for a moment Josh. Let’s make the word ability.

Joshua: Ability? o.k. Did God have the ability to create? Yes.

Imran: O.K so that’s the attribute.

Hamza: That’s the attribute.

Joshua: Oh that’s what you mean when you say attributes.

Hamza: The Creation is the manifestation of the attribute. Evidence of the attribute if you like.

Joshua: It’s the manifestation of ‘Ah’ (light bulb moment).

Comments:

Over all that was a very good exchange. In reality the question Joshua poses is two-fold in nature.

  1. Is the Qur’an created or eternal?
  2. If it is created or eternal does this pose a problem for the doctrine of Tawhid?

The first argument brought by Abbas is not a good argument.

The eternity of knowledge does not imply the eternity of the known, otherwise, all things that have come into being would be eternal! Imagine saying because Allah (swt) has eternal knowledge about Christ Jesus, that Christ Jesus would be eternal! Christians would just love that!

Imran seemed the more learned of the three, at least in terms of Sunni theology. He got straight to the point. However, Imran did a very clever cart before the horse when he asked:

Can your speech exist without you? Actually we could ask: (Can you exist without speaking)

The answer to that is yes, You can exist without speaking.

We affirm the attribute of “speech” for Allah (swt) as Imam Diya al-Din ‘Abd al-Aziza Thamini (raheemullah), says in his Mu’alim:

“Know that speech is sometimes referred to Allah in the meaning of negating dumbness of Him, and it then to be understood as an essential attribute in the way of such attributes. And sometimes it is referred to Him in the sense of its being one of His actions, and it is then to be understood as such. So the meaning of His being Speaking, according to the first interpretation, is that He is not dumb; and according to the second that He is a Creator of Speech.” Source: (Ma’alim al-din (Oman: Wizarat al-Turath al-Qawmi wa l-Thaqafah, 1st edition 2:9.)

Now this is where it gets a bit tricky for Sunni theology.

Imran: So the creative command, is not separate from the creator in any sense, right?

Response: What do you actually mean by the creator and his attributes? Because the Sunni theological position is that the attributes of Allah (swt) are not equal to Allah (swt) nor other than his essence!

This is a very, very BIG problem for Sunni theology.

Ibadi Muslims believe that the attributes of Allah =to the essence:

Questions for the Athari/Salafi school.

So if the attributes are not identical to the essence nor other than the essence what are they?

Can you prove your claims that the attributes are not identical to the essence using kitab wa sunnah? Using the Qur’an and the Sunnah? Will you need to rely upon kalam?

The position of Sunni Theology is in many ways similar to Athanasian Trinitarian definitions of God being complex, a unity of attributes.

Actually a VERY GOOD QUESTION FOR ANY SUNNI MUSLIM IS: ‘What do you mean when you say God is one?’

This may come as a surprise to the readers. They may say the being is one but can they really since they also have these attributes that have a quasi/pseudo being status, in that they are not equal to the being nor other than it?

The second point that that Imran brought.

Imran: So the creative command, is not separate from the creator in any sense, right?

“And the angels called to him as he stood praying in the sanctuary: Allah gives you glad tidings of (a son whose name is) John, (who comes) to confirm A WORD (bikalimatin)  from Allah lordly, chaste, a prophet of the righteous. (Qur’an 3:39)

Are we sure that we want to say that Jesus (A WORD) from Allah is not separate from the Creator?

On what consistent basis is Jesus Allah’s word and his spirit and yet be created when the  Qur’an is Allah’s word and is eternal and uncreated?  On what consistent basis is the claim made?

I’m quite certain that Christians are going to be asking themselves why should I leave Christianity which holds (even in the lesser Arian Christology) that Christ Jesus is a word emanating from the divine nature but sharing the divine nature only to embrace a faith that tells me that Christ Jesus is a word emanating from the divine being but not separate from the divine being?

“His are the creation and the command.” (Qur’an 7:54)


This is answered by the context itself:

Indeed, your Lord is Allah, who created the heavens and earth in six days and then established Himself above the Throne. He covers the night with the day, [another night] chasing it rapidly; and [He created] the sun, the moon, and the stars, subjected by His command. Unquestionably, His is the creation and the command; blessed is Allah, Lord of the worlds. (Qur’an 7:54)

The most that this verse tells us is that, just as Allah (swt) is alone in bringing the universe out of non-being (into being), in the same way, He is alone in the management of it. He has no partner in its creation and in its management. None other than Him has anything of the creation and management. Rather, to HIM alone belong the creation and the command. The meaning here, clearly, is management. And there is nothing in that which even remotely points either to the eternity of the Qur’an or to its contingency.

Examples:

“Maintain with care the [obligatory] prayers and [in particular] the middle prayer and stand before Allah, devoutly obedient.” (Qur’an 2:238)

The middle prayer is not (separated) out of the genus of the prayers, the guarding of which has been commanded.

“Whoever is an enemy to Allah and His angels and His messengers and Gabriel and Michael – then indeed, Allah is an enemy to the disbelievers. (Qur’an 2:98)


No one says that Gabriel and Michael are (separated) out of the genus of angels.
The difference between them is but relative.

“Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.” (Qur’an 16:90)

No intelligent person will argue about justice being the doing of good, and the doing of good being justice.

The command (amr) of Allah (swt) has been mentioned jointly with what denotes its creation in many places.

“And [remember, O Muhammad], when you said to the one on whom Allah bestowed favor and you bestowed favor, “Keep your wife and fear Allah,” while you concealed within yourself that which Allah is to disclose. And you feared the people, while Allah has more right that you fear Him. So when Zayd had no longer any need for her, We married her to you in order that there not be upon the believers any discomfort concerning the wives of their adopted sons when they no longer have need of them. And ever is the command of Allah accomplished.” (Qur’an 33:37)

“[Remember] when you were on the near side of the valley, and they were on the farther side, and the caravan was lower [in position] than you. If you had made an appointment [to meet], you would have missed the appointment. But [it was] so that Allah might accomplish a matter already destined – that those who perished [through disbelief] would perish upon evidence and those who lived [in faith] would live upon evidence; and indeed, Allah is Hearing and Knowing.” (Qur’an 8:42)

“There is not to be upon the Prophet any discomfort concerning that which Allah has imposed upon him. [This is] the established way of Allah with those [prophets] who have passed on before. And ever is the command of Allah a destiny decreed.” (Qur’an 33:38)

“He arranges [each] matter from the heaven to the earth; then it will ascend to Him in a Day, the extent of which is a thousand years of those which you count.” (Qur’an 32:5)

“Indeed, all things We created with predestination And Our command is but one, like a glance of the eye.” (Qur’an 54:49-50)

“Do the disbelievers await [anything] except that the angels should come to them or there comes the command of your Lord? Thus did those do before them. And Allah wronged them not, but they had been wronging themselves.” (Qur’an 16:33)

All of those examples should be more than sufficient to show our response! 

May Allah (swt) open the eyes of the Muslim ummah. May Allah (swt) open the heart of Joshua and bring him to the right way.

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There is none of the People of the Book but must believe in him before his death Qur’an 4:159

How do we understand Qur’an 4:159? 

“And there is none of the People of the Book but must believe in him before his death; and on the Day of Judgment he will be a witness against them.” (Qur’an 4:159)

  1. It is important to note that from the (Qur’an 4:153-to 4:159)  the entire theme is directed towards the Jews.
  2. None among the Jews that Jesus preached to but that it is prerequisite for them to believe in him before their death.
  3.  Jesus is a witness against those who witnessed his preaching.
  4. This is confirmed by: “I said not to them except what You commanded me – to worship Allah , my Lord and your Lord. And I was a witness over them as long as I was among them; but when you caused me to die, You were the Observer over them, and You are, over all things, Witness. (Qur’an 5:117)
  5. Who else would he be a witness against?

If we believe in the dominant interpretation of Sunni/Salafi Islam they need to answer the following questions:

  1. Why would Jesus be a witness against them if they all die believing in him?
  2. Wouldn’t Jesus be a witness against those who did not believe in him?
  3. If you interpret none must believe in him but before their death, surely thousands of Jews and Christians died without believing Jesus is a prophet.
  4. How can this apply to Christians if they already believe in him?
  5. How do you answer that if it means to believe in him as a prophet before his alleged return than he wouldn’t need to be a witness against them any way.
  6. Prove grammatically that Qur’an 4:159 is a break in theme from 4:153 on wards and refers to some future eschatological event.
  7. Prove grammatically and thematically that the verse in question includes Christians.

Further Proofs:

“And when Allah will say: O Jesus son of Mary! did you say to men, Take me and my mother for two gods besides Allah, he will say: Glory be to You, it did not befit me that I should say what I had no right to (say); if I had said it, You would indeed have known it; You know what is in my mind, and I do not know what is in your mind, surely you are the great Knower of the unseen things. I did not say anything to them except what you commanded me with: That worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord, and I was a witness over them as long as I was among them, but when you caused me to die (Arabic: Tawafaytani), you were the watcher over them, and you are witness of all things.” (Qur’an 5:116-117)

There are several things to take from the above passage:


1) This dialogue is taking place on the Day of Judgment where Prophet Jesus suggests that he has no knowledge of what has happened since his demise on Earth and after his ministry ended. “I was a witness over them as long as I was among them.”

2) From the discussion, it is clear that Prophet Jesus only came to Earth once acting as a witness over his people. If indeed there was a ‘second coming‘ before the Day of Judgment, he would have full knowledge of what had happened since his first departure. After all, he abolished the Jizya and forced the Christians to convert to Islam. This conversation with Allah (swt) would make little to no sense.

3) Imagine if the ahadiths that are put in the mouth of the Blessed Prophet (saw) are true for a moment. So now Jesus (a.s) comes back and everyone becomes a Muslim. The Dajjal is defeated. Jesus (a.s) gets married. Then Allah (swt) causes Jesus (a.s) to die.

Then we have Jesus (a.s) saying after he dies to Allah (swt)  “I was a witness over them as long as I was among them, but when you caused me to die, you were the watcher over them, and you are witness of all things.”

Rather bizarre it seems.

Especially if we take the following text into consideration: “And there is none from the People of the Scripture but that he will surely believe in Jesus before his death.” (Qur’an 4:159)

A rather bizarre situation the ‘traditional‘  and ‘dominant‘ position leaves us in.

No, Jesus is dead and he we will not return. Do not expect the Mahdi either!

Do expect…the return of the Khilafa (insh’Allah)

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Islam & Israel: The Universal Divine Promise and Who Wants to Rule the World?

“Praise be to Allah the Sustainer of all the worlds.” (Qur’an 1:2)

As salamu alaykum warahmutallah wabaraktuh my brothers in Islam. Guidance to humanity and war eternal to Iblis and his armies!

We have many doors that lead to various scenarios and possibilities.

The question you must ask. What will that future look like? What path will you take?

Make no mistake there are many competing visions for the future.

There is one group, who see’s themselves as God’s chosen, his elect. They believe it is their destiny to rule over the whole world. They see God as a local tribal deity. He belongs to one particular people whom he will empower to rule over the whole earth.

“Kings and queens of other· nations) shall bow down to you with their face to the earth, and lick the dust of your feet (0 Israel).” (Isaiah 49:23)


“For that nation and kingdom that will not serve you shall perish yea, these nations shall be utterly wasted.” (Isaiah 60:12)

“Say to rebellious Israel, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Enough of your detestable practices, people of Israel!  In addition to all your other detestable practices, you brought foreigners uncircumcised in heart and flesh into my sanctuary, desecrating my temple while you offered me food, fat and blood, and you broke my covenant.  Instead of carrying out your duty in regard to my holy things, you put others in charge of my sanctuary.  This is what the Sovereign Lord says: No foreigner uncircumcised in heart and flesh is to enter my sanctuary, not even the foreigners who live among the Israelites.” (Ezekiel 44:6-9)

The tribal deity, Yahweh, and the Jewish nationalism connected with it are seen naked in passages such as those quoted above. In many other passages, however, this idolatrous nationalism is ambiguously fused with higher universalist conceptions of Allah, so that one is left wondering whether it is the universal God who is using the nation of Israel to exalt and reveal Himself or whether it is the nation of Israel that is using the universal God to exalt itself.

Is it any wonder in the opening Salvo of the Qur’an. The true God of all humanity crushed all claims that God is a tribal deity, concerned only with the affairs of one tribe of people.

“Praise be to Allah the Sustainer of all the worlds.” (Qur’an 1:2)

“Say, “Indeed, the [true] guidance is the guidance of Allah . [Do you fear] lest someone be given [knowledge] like you were given or that they would [thereby] argue with you before your Lord?” Say, “Indeed, [all] bounty is in the hand of Allah – He grants it to whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Wise. He selects for His mercy whom He wills. And Allah is the possessor of great bounty.” (Qur’an 3:73-74)

“And We certainly sent into every nation a messenger, [saying], “Worship Allah and avoid oppression.” And among them were those whom Allah guided, and among them were those upon whom chose the path of misguidance. So proceed through the earth and observe how was the end of the deniers.” (Qur’an 16:36)

Now ponder this list last verse of the Qur’an. Does it ever dawn on anyone (Muslim or not) that even though we recognize every nation on this earth was sent a messenger they are regulated to a mere after thought in the Qur’an? The point is simply to establish to the Children of Israel that it has never been the case that they were the only one’s to receive messengers from Allah.

This is why when orientalist, or archeologist find similar currents of thought prior to or concurrent with the time of the Hebrews it shakes their faith. They most likely doubt the divine altogether. Where as for a Muslim such discoveries present no challenge to our faith. Every language on this planet has a word for God.

So why has Allah (swt) focused so much on the narrative of the children of Israel?

  1. They are the one’s who are still trying to fulfil their own objectives in regards to the subjugation of others under them. In so doing they stand in total opposition to what the Creator has revealed. It is those who are dawah our call to Islam is to. They will be our brothers in faith.
  2. Those who have long abandoned the path and instead:

“They followed what the  Shayatin (devils) gave out, in the Mulki Sulaymān (مُلْكِ سُلَيْمَان, Kingdom of Solomon). Sulaymān did not disbelieve, but the Shayāṭīn disbelieved, teaching men magic and such things that came down upon the two Angels in Babylon, Hārūt and Mārūt, but neither of these two taught anyone, till they had said, “We are only a Fitnah (trial), so do not disbelieve.” And from these, people learn that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife, but they could not thus harm anyone except by the Leave of Allāh. And they learn that which harms them and profits them not. And indeed they knew that the buyers of it (magic) would have no share in the Akhirah (Hereafter). And how bad indeed was that for which they sold their own selves, if they but knew!” (Qur’an 2:102)

“For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.” (1 Kings 11:4)

This group from the children of Israel are damned to hell. Their hearts are stones.

“Then your hearts became hardened after that, being like stones or even harder. For indeed, there are stones from which rivers burst forth, and there are some of them that split open and water comes out, and there are some of them that fall down for fear of Allah. And Allah is not unaware of what you do.” (Qur’an 2:74)

“Woe! Unto them to those who write the Book with their hands then say, This is from Allah; so that they may take for it a small price. So woe! to them for what their hands write and woe! to them for what they earn.” (Qur’an 2:79)

This verse is most certainly in reference to the following section of the so called “Torah”. 

“You may charge a foreigner interest, but not a fellow Israelite, so that the Lord your God may bless you in everything you put your hand to in the land you are entering to possess.”

“If you make a vow to the Lord your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the Lord your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin.” (Deuteronomy 23:20-21)

This particular text which has been engineered by the hands of man has not only perpetuated the economic imbalances of today, it has the focus of so many anti-Jewish tropes around money.

The Islamic rejection of Jewish nationalism and messianic hopes connected with it do not originate from any hostility towards the .Jewish people, such as we find in the New Testament. It stems from the fact that God is the God of the whole world. The Messianic hopes have been fulfilled in John the Baptist, The Prophet Jesus and the Blessed Messenger (May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon them all!)

ISLAM FUFILS MANY OF THE PROMISES THE CHILDREN ARE AWAITING..

“In that day five cities in Egypt will speak the language of Canaan and swear allegiance to the Lord Almighty. One of them will be called the City of the Sun. In that day there will be an altar to the Lord in the heart of Egypt, and a monument to the Lord at its border. It will be a sign and witness to the Lord Almighty in the land of Egypt. When they cry out to the Lord because of their oppressors, he will send them a savior and defender, and he will rescue them.  So the Lord will make himself known to the Egyptians, and in that day they will acknowledge the Lord. They will worship with sacrifices and grain offerings; they will make vows to the Lord and keep them.  The Lord will strike Egypt with a plague; he will strike them and heal them. They will turn to the Lord, and he will respond to their pleas and heal them. In that day there will be a highway from Egypt to Assyria. The Assyrians will go to Egypt and the Egyptians to Assyria. The Egyptians and Assyrians will worship together.  In that day Israel will be the third, along with Egypt and Assyria, a blessing on the earth.  The Lord Almighty will bless them, saying, “Blessed be Egypt my people, Assyria my handiwork, and Israel my inheritance.” (Isaiah 19:18-25)

Look at Egypt and the former Assyrian Empire. They are all majority worshipers of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. This happened under the advent of Islam!

God will pour out his wrath upon the swine eaters! Definitely not Muslims!

“For by fire and by his sword will the Lord plead with all flesh: and the slain of the Lord shall be many. They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one tree in the midst, of those who eat the flesh of swine and vermin and rats, shall be perish together, says the Lord. For I know their works and their thoughts: it shall come, that I will gather all nations and tongues; and they shall come, and see my glory.” (Isaiah 66: 16-18)

The Dome of the Rock is the Rebuilt Temple!

“In that day I will restore David’s fallen shelter. I will repair its broken walls and restore its ruins and will rebuild it as it used to be, so that the remnant of people and all the nations that bear my name may seek me ,declares the Lord, who will do these things.” (Amos 9:11-12)

A remnant -a small portion after the march larger part has been used, removed or destroyed.

The temple was finally rebuilt as the Dome of the Rock by the Muslims in the period from 688-691, but this time it was built as a house of the God of Jacob where people from all nations and races carne for His worship. The Muslim-built house of prayer has stood for many more centuries than any before in recorded history.

Look at this picture and look at what Christians say at the bottom!

No, the Dome of the Rock is the Temple Mount! Open your eyes!

The Dome of the Rock is a house of prayer for all people. Muslims practice sacrificial ceremony during the Eid Al Adha.

ISLAM IS THE FULFILMENT OF SCRIPTURE. THERE IS NO MORE LINE OF DAVID

“For this is what the Lord says: “David will never fail to have a man sit on the throne of Israel, nor will the Levitical priest ever fail to have a man stand before me continually to offer burnt offerings, to burn grain offerings and to present sacrifices.” (Jeremiah 33:17)

“He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with a rod wielded by men, with floggings inflicted by human hands. But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you.” (2 Samuel 7:13-15)

God promised David that his kingdom would last for ever. In reality, nothing like a Jewish kingdom with a king of David’s line has existed in the last two and a half thousand years and it is now even difficult to point to any authentic descendent of David.

The idea that one day the whole world will be subjugated by the Jews, who will all be gathered in the
land their ancestors inhabited centuries ago and will be ruled by a descendent of David, and that this king of David’s line will necessarily be born in Bethlehem, the city of David, and will establish an everlasting dynasty. We are dealing here with hopes of national glory and power, which we cannot today find meaningful in any way. Such hopes offend the universalist way of viewing man and God that Islam and the best of the teachings of Christianity and Judaism have given to the world. For today there are no authentic descendants of David out of whom the restorer of this kingdom could arrive ; moreover,
most of the Jews have always found it impossible to leave their countries and gather together in Palestine, not to talk of the insurmountable difficulties for any one nation to acquire ruling power over the whole world and maintain it forever
.

JEWS ADMIT WHO KNOWS WHERE THE AUTHENTIC LINE OF DAVID IS

“For then will I turn to the people A PURE LANGUAGE that they may all call upon the name of the Lord, to serve him WITH ONE CONSENT. (Literally, shoulder to shoulder).” (Zephania 3:9)

“We know indeed that they say, “It is a man that teaches him. The tongue of him they wickedly point to is notably foreign, while this is Arabic, PURE AND CLEAR.” (Qur’an 16:103)

UNIVERSAL PEACE A DEFEAT OF EVIL ONCE AND FOR ALL?

“And He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore. (Isaiah 2:4)

I am sorry but this prophecy cannot come about if Orthodox Jews destroy the Al Aqsa Mosque. How will there be universal peace when every Muslim will die fighting to defend it?

SOLUTION? EASY! CREATE MUSLIM ZIONIST!

First establish ties with Muslim nations without any conditions to assist the people of Palestine.

Second would be to give funding to poor Muslims and assist them through college, university, etc. with a little nod that they will use verses the following verses to twist their claims. Qur’an 5:20-21 and 17:104

“And ˹remember˺ when Moses said to his people, “O my people! Remember Allah’s favours upon you when He raised prophets from among you, made you sovereign, and gave you what He had never given anyone in the world O my people! Enter the Holy Land which Allah has destined for you ˹to enter˺. And do not turn back or else you will become losers.” (Qur’an 5:20-21)

Where does the above text say they were destined to stay there forever? In fact the best way to handle these Zionist claims is the irrefutable proof from their own sources.

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that you shall soon utterly perish from off the land whereunto you go over Jordan to possess it; you shall not prolong your days upon it, but shall utterly be destroyed. And the Lord shall scatter you among the nations, and you shall be left few in number among the heathen, whither the Lord shall lead you.” (Deuteronomy 24: 26-27)

“And We said after Pharaoh to the Children of Israel, “Dwell in the land, and when there comes the promise of the Hereafter, We will bring you forth in [one] gathering.” (Qur’an 17:104)

How does it elude people the part, ‘When there comes the promise of the Hereafter, We will bring you forth in one gathering‘ ?

So either by duping (filling the pockets) of certain Muslims to be Zionist or by brute force, by hook or by crook some Zionist are bound and determine to bring about universal peace, by mass bloodshed and massive destruction of lives, if necessary.

ALLAH TELLS US THAT WE SHOULD NOT DUPE OURSELVES INTO THINKING THERE WILL BE UNIVERAL PEACE AS LONG AS MANKIND’S UNIVERSAL ENEMY IS HERE.

[Satan] said, “Reprieve me until the Day they are resurrected.”[ Allah ] said, “Indeed, you are of those reprieved.” (Qur’an 7:14-15)

“Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.” (Qur’an 94:6)

Periods of strife and tranquility go hand and hand.

“Indeed, Satan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze.” (Qur’an 35:6)

“(Allah) said: “Get down, one of you an enemy to the other. On earth will be a dwelling place for you and an enjoyment for a time.” . He said: “Therein you shall live, and therein you shall die, and from it you shall be brought out (resurrected).” (Qur’an 7:24-25)

These verses are important for Muslims to keep in mind. Because when we re-establish the Khilafa (and insh’Allah we will), we need to understand that our real battle is…

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6: 12)

The slave of the Lord. Let the inhabitants of Kedar rejoice!

“And if ye are in doubt concerning that which We reveal unto Our slave abdina (Muhammed), then produce a surah of the like thereof, and call your witness beside Allah if ye are truthful.” (Qur’an 2:23)

“Here is my slave, whom I uphold ,my chosen one in whom I delight ;I will put my Spirit on him, and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his teaching the islands will put their hope.” (Isaiah 45:1-4)

Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise from the ends of the earth, you who go down to the sea, and all that is in it, you islands, and all who live in them. Let the wilderness and its towns raise their voices; let the settlements where Kedar lives rejoice. Let the people of Sela sing for joy; let them shout from the mountaintops. Let them give glory to the Lord and proclaim his praise in the islands. The Lord will march out like a champion, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cryand will triumph over his enemies. (Isaiah 42: 10-13)

“’Arabia and all the princes of Kedar were your customers; they did business with you in lambs, rams and goats.” (Ezekiel 27:21)

Moreover, Second Isaiah is quite willing to regard Cyrus, the’ Persian king, as God’s servant and messiah (Isaiah 45:1) through whom God carried out His purpose and therefore would have no objection to see in an Arab as the instrument of the fulfillment of its hopes.

An appeal to the sincere among the Children of Israel.

The Jews in Israel have far less love and respect for their traditions than those in the Diaspora and incline
towards secularism. Which shows it is not necessary for the Jews to be in Palestine to either worship God or to practice their faith. The State of Israel was created by the manifestly unjust action of displacing people who had lived in Palestine for more centuries than the Jews themselves had. This does not mean that there is not room for both.

The fact is that Jews have made their best contribution to the enlightenment of mankind not as citizens
of a Jewish state in Palestine, but as people dispersed in other lands. And more than that, Christianity and Islam have shown, by example, that the best of the Jewish tradition can spread throughout the world
by Spiritual and intellectual leadership, not by the forced establishment of secular power.

Islam rejects .Jewish nationalism because Islam intends to build the foundations for a universal brotherhood of man and such a brotherhood cannot be built on principles that incorporate anything of the Old Testament idea of a race eternally set apart. Above the rest of mankind. For this same reason, Islam arouse outside of the Jewish nation. For if Islam had originated from among the Jews the idea would have continued that revelation and salvation belong to the “chosen” people of Israel. The national idol of the Israelites could not have been effectively broken; which is precisely what had to be done to build the basis for a universal brotherhood.

One of the greatest beneficiaries of Islamic universalism was, ironically. the Jews themselves. It is a fact of history recognized even by Jewish historians that. Islam came as a great mercy to Judaism and the Jewish American, Max Dimont calls the medieval period of Jewish history under Islam the golden age for the Jews, and Shlomo Dov Goitein’s remarks: “Never has Judaism encountered such a dose and fructuous symbiosis as that with the medieval civilization of Arab Islam.”

This was in the past, but even in the future many of the hopes of the Jews as a people can be naturally fulfilled through Islam once they stop trying to fulfill them exclusively through their own efforts rather than by reliance on God and the his last Messenger.

It is essential that the Jews stop trying to exalt. themselves. Their national narcissism must be healed . This is possible if they accept Islam; for at this stage .in history their acceptance of a prophet not from among them can only be a cause and a sign of the healing of the effects of their excessive and centuries-old preoccupation with themselves. In Islam they would not lose their national identity, for no nation or group has ever lost its identity because of Islam (Turks, Persians, Indians, Javanese); rather they would lose only a certain destructive attitude towards other their nations.

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Some faces that day will be radiant. Looking at their Lord. Will we see Allah?

“(Some) faces, that day, will be radiant. Looking towards their lord.” (Qur’an 75:22-23)

At first blush one cannot be faulted for seeing this as a proof for the theological position that Muslims will see Allah (swt) in the next life.

May Allah (swt) reward brother Assad, the servant of Allah (swt) who did the translation from our noble Shaykh and teacher.

*Translated from Shaykh Rashid bin Salim Al Busafi -هللا حفظه -book “المراقي خالصة شرح في الراقي بغية“ 

There are four quick points to consider.

Point 1.

As for the ayah {On that Day ˹some˺ faces will be bright, () Awaiting the mercy of their lord { َيْو َمِئٍذ }. Quran: ن )22ٰ )ى َّ لَ ِإ ها َبِّر َإ ِ232275[ })23( ٌرة َظ ِنا ,[ there’s no daleel in it perceiving Allah by vision because (Al Nathar) (النظر (does not necessary mean to see, as (Al Nathar) (النظر (to something does not necessarily mean seeing it, as when one says, I looked at the hilal but I didn’t see it.  

Point 2.

(النظر) (Al Nathar) comes with multiple meanings in the language, and the correct meaning is confirmed through the context it has been mentioned in, so the (Al Nathar) (النظر (comes with the meaning of waiting even if it was preceded by (Ila) (إلى, (so it doesn’t come with only the meaning of seeing, as that is refuted by the Quran itself As Allah says { نَّ ِإ ِذي َن ِإ َي َعْهِد ْش ال َت ُرو َن َّ ِ ْي َماِنهِ ْم هَّللا ب ِ َأ َوَأ ا َمنً ِئ َك َقلِياًل ثَ ٰ ولَ ُهْم َخاَل َق اَل ُأ َو ُم ُهُم اَل اآْل ل ِفي ِخ َرِة َ ُي َكلِّ َين ْم ُظ َو ُر هَّللا اَل ُ ْيهِ لَ ِإ َيْو َم ِقَيا َمِة َو ْم اَل الْ ُهْم ُي َز ِّكيهِ َول ا ٌب َ َعذ لِيٌم{ َ أ َQur’an 3:77[ أ

“Indeed, those who exchange the covenant of Allah and their [own] oaths for a small price will have no share in the Hereafter, and Allah will not speak to them or look at them on the Day of Resurrection, nor will He purify them; and they will have a painful punishment.” (Qur’an 3:77)

So is it said that, those who sell out God’s covenant and their own oaths for a small price, is it said that Allah doesn’t see them in the Akhira?!  

Point 3.

This Ayah came in the context of describing the day of judgment, and the day of gathering to be exact. And that’s by the proof of its context {{On that Day ˹some˺ faces will be bright,() Awaiting the mercy of their lord ()And ˹other˺ faces will be gloomy,() ا ِض َرةٌ ُو ُجوهٌ َيْو َمِئٍذ } {.in anticipation of something devastating ن )22ٰ )ى َّ لَ ِإ َنا ِظ َرةٌ )23ِ )إ َرِّب َها َت ن ُظ َبا ِس َرةٌ )24ُّ )ن َوُو ُجوهٌ َيْو َمِئٍذ َأ َع َل َأ ُيف َها ْ ِ ٌرة َقِفا َب { so if (Nathira) (ناظرة (was of the meaning of seeing then it won’t be except on that day; because he described that by saying (on that day) (ذٍيومئ (and those who differ with us they have not agreed on it happening on the gathering, add to that, the ayah came with the style of comparison between two types of faces, so these are radiant, happy, waiting for the mercy of its lord, while the others are contorted and gloomy expecting what will break their backs from punishment. So, it’s in pity waiting for it to come. Add to that that the description by faces in this ayah means the known organ which the feelings appear on. What is in the soul. What the soul is feeling will be expressed on the face. As the contentment and happiness can be identified through his face, and fearful and frightened can also be identified by his face, and the face organ is not the organ responsible for seeing.  

Point 4.

Add to that, that what could be perceived by one sense from the human senses can be perceived by other senses, especially the senses which are foremost compared to others. So, what is perceived by one sense is certainly perceived by others, so is that said about Allah swt?

Point 5.

The foremost of (Al Jar wa Al Majroor) (والمجرور الجار (in the ayat { ىَ ٰل ِإ ِإ َرِّب َها implies } نا ِظ َرةٌ limitation and confinement. So, if (ناطرة (was explained to mean seeing then it implies that it won’t see on that day except its lord, and nobody said this ever, so the foremost of (Al Jar wa Al Majroor) (والمجرور الجار (implies the preclusion of explaining the (Al Nathar) (النظر (in the ayah to mean seeing. 

The Sunni Muslims who hold these beliefs attribute to Imam Shafi’i the belief of the Atheist!

And they hold that seeing Allah is the thing that made Allah the Exalted worthy to be worshiped, and that if he Allah Tabaraka wa Ta’ala was not seen in the Akhira then he was not worthy to be worshiped in this dunya, and to you some of what they said: we find ibn Al Qayyim links to Imam Shafi’e that he said “if Mohammed bin Idrees did not known that he won’t see his lord in the akhira then he wouldn’t have worshiped him” and he said “I oppose ibn Aliyyah in everything even in saying La Illaha Illa Allah, as I say: la Illaha Illa Allah that can be seen in the akhira, and he says: La Illaha Illa Allah that cannot be seen in the Akhira…” and in another narration he said “ If Mohammed ibn Idrees was not certain that he’ll see Allah Azza Wa Jal he wouldn’t have worshiped him”. And this is talk that makes bodies grasp, and minds flabbergasted, as this is the Quran within our hands, we do not find that that the worship of Allah the Exalted was conditioned in any position of it with seeing him swt!! This is the belief of the Atheist!  

See for yourself!

May Allah (swt) guide you dear reader! May Allah (swt) guide the Muslim ummah!

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Does Allah have two eyes?

“He only orders you to evil and shameful and to say about Allah what you do not know.”
(Qur’an 2:169)

Saying about Allah (swt) that which we do not know is likened to those who commit evil and have no shame.

No where is this more on display than with those who say, “I am Salafi” and “I am on the way of the Salaaf”.

Unlike them, who are afraid of the light being seen by the people I will not censor their perverse beliefs.

This is one of their web sites https://abukhadeejah.com/chapter-19-two-eyes-for-allah-al-harawee/

What will you find here?

Two quotations from the Qur’an, two hadith quotations and quotations from scholars. Typical gangster behaving in attacking other theological schools.

Point 1) The statements of scholars or any person can be thrown against the wall if it conflicts with the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

Point 2) We do not take our Aqidah, our Iman, from Al-Aqidah al-Wasitiyyah. We take it from the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

Let’s look at what they brought:

20:39

Chapter: “…In order that you may be brought up under My Eye.”

And His saying concerning the Ark of Nooh (عليه السلام):

تَجْرِي بِأَعْيُنِنَا جَزَاءً لِّمَن كَانَ كُفِرَ – 54:14

“[It was] sailing under Our Eyes, a reward for him who had been rejected.”

At least abukhadeejah website was a little more honest in the translation than the following:

Meanwhile check out the following video to see how these snakes in the grass translate it into English for the unsuspecting.


“Cast him into the chest, and toss it into the river. The current will throw him up on the shore where an enemy of Mine as well as an enemy of him will pick him up. I have lavished love of My own on you so that you are brought up under my two eyes.” [Qur’an 20:39]

At the 0:40 second mark you will see them translate the Arabic as what you see above.

Meanwhile the Abukhaadejah website translates it as: Chapter: “…In order that you may be brought up under My Eye.”’

The Qur’an mentions nothing about two eyes of Allah (swt). Those who say so need to produce their proof. Because the two ayats quoted do nothing to prove that. It is pure kalaam! (If we want to take their tone). It is pure taw’il (if we are being generous).

Now let us take a look at the hadith:

Anas narrated that Allah’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:

“There was not a Prophet sent by Allah except that he warned his people from the Al-A’war Ad-Dajjāl, the One-eyed Liar. Indeed, he is one-eyed and your Lord is not one-eyed. There will be written between his eyes, the word kāfir.”  Source: (Bukhāri 7131, Muslim 2933)

“Allah is not hidden from you, He is not one-eyed.” And he pointed with his hand towards his eye, adding, “Indeed Al-Maseeh Ad-Dajjāl is blind in the right eye and his eye looks like a protruding grape.” Source: (Reported by Bukhāri, no. 7407)

Comments: So what the so called “Salafi” do is again engaged in kalaam. They speculate about the text. The interesting thing is that the very text quoted says about the dajjal “between his eyes”. Indicating that the dajjal does indeed have two eyes. It is surprising that they do not use their speculation to say that Allah (swt) has three eyes.

Dajjal: defective right eye or defective left eye?

Both of the above ‘Sahih’ hadith say two different things.

How the Sunni’s have tried to reconcile this is by saying about the Dajjal, well guess what both of his eyes are defective!

They have no proof from the Qur’an and Sunnah that Allah (swt) has TWO eyes. Allah (swt) never specified or gave a number. They would have been consistent in their misguided school if they would have simply said: “We affirm Allah has eyes.” Without giving any specific number.

But noooo! They are stubborn and remain upon their misguidance? Who is misguided?

Every scholar, shaykh, imam, cleric, street teacher, YouTuber or social media personality who claims that Allah (swt) has two eyes.

With this ONE example their creedal position has been demolished!

“Oh but that is just one example of how they erred.” – clueless supporter.

My response: “How many holes does it take to pop a balloon?”

May Allah (swt) save the ummah from the misguidance of these people.

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Refutation: Those who claim Heaven is not only for Muslims.

“Indeed, the religion in the sight of Allah is Islam. And those who were given the Scripture did not differ except after knowledge had come to them – out of jealous animosity between themselves. And whoever disbelieves in the verses of Allah , then indeed, Allah is swift in account.” (Qur’an 3:19)

May Allah (swt) reward our brother who has done an excellent service in provided a translation to those seeking the truth in the English language. May Allah (swt) continue to bless and reward our noble Shaykh, and illustrious scholar, Abdullah bin Saeed Al Ma’mari (May Allah benefit us from him.)

“And whoever desires other than Islam as religion – never will it be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.” (Qur’an 3:85)

 “And whoever denies the faith – his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.” (Qur’an 5:5)

 “But for those who deny the Truth, their deeds are like a mirage in the desert, which the thirsty supposes to be water until he comes to it only to find that it was nothing; he found instead that Allah was with Him and He paid his account in full. Allah is swift in settling the account. Or its similitude is that of depths of darkness upon an abysmal sea, covered by a billow, above which is a billow, above which is cloud, creating darkness piled one upon another; when he puts forth his hand, he would scarcely see it. He to whom Allah assigns no light, he will have no light. (Qur’an 29:39-40)

“And We will regard what they have done of deeds and make them as dust dispersed. (Qur’an 25:23)

“And it was already revealed to you and to those before you that if you should associate anything with Allah , your work would surely become worthless, and you would surely be among the losers.” (Qur’an 39:65)

As for the evidences that those rely upon, the followers of Perennialism, the religion of Humanism and the like:

“Indeed, those who believed and those who were Jews or Christians or Sabeans [before Prophet Muhammed] – those [among them] who believed in Allah and the Last Day and did righteousness – will have their reward with their Lord, and no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve.” (Qur’an 2:62)

“Indeed, those who have believed [in Prophet Muhammed] and those [before Him] who were Jews or Sabeans or Christians – those [among them] who believed in Allah and the Last Day and did righteousness – no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve.” (Qur’an 5:69)

It is important to understand that Islam has manifested through the previous Prophets/Messengers.

So this is why it is important to understand the word ‘Muslim’ as-a state of being.

So the verses above are in reference to those Christians, Sabeans and Jews who believed and died as Muslims will have no fear nor shall they grieve.

“And the same did Ibrahim enjoin on his sons and (so did) Yaqoub. O, my sons! surely Allah has chosen for you (this) faith, therefore die not unless you are Muslims (muslimuna). (Qur’an 2:132)

O you who believe! be careful of (your duty to) Allah with the care which is due to Him, and do not die unless you are Muslims.” (Qur’an 3:102)

“And if only the People of the Scripture had believed and feared Allah, We would have removed from them their misdeeds and admitted them to Gardens of Pleasure. “ (Qur’an 5:65)

“Indeed, they who disbelieved among the People of the Scripture and the polytheists will be in the fire of Hell, abiding eternally therein. Those are the worst of creatures.” (Qur’an 98:6)

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Blessed Messenger of Allah (saw) said:

By Him in Whose hand is the life of Muhammed, he who amongst the community of Jews or Christians hears about me, but does not affirm his belief in that with which I have been sent and dies in this state (of disbelief), he shall be but one of the denizens of Hell-Fire.

Repent! Accept the Truth! May Allah (swt) guide you!

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