Blowing on Knots. Saving Muslim Marriages

 

“And they followed what the devils had recited during the reign of Solomon. It was not Solomon who disbelieved, but the devils disbelieved, teaching people magic and that which was revealed to the two angels at Babylon, Harut and Marut. But the two angels do not teach anyone unless they say, “We are a trial, so do not disbelieve .” And they learn from them that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife. But they do not harm anyone through it except by permission of Allah. And the people learn what harms them and does not benefit them. But the Children of Israel certainly knew that whoever purchased the magic would not have in the Hereafter any share. And wretched is that for which they sold themselves if they only knew.” (Quran 2:102-103)

 

Is this not curious that out of all the things that people learned concerning magic that an emphasis is put on causing separation between a man and his wife?  That there are extremely dark forces at play working against the foundations of a family should be something that we really think about.

 

In Islam marriage completes half of one’s faith. 60% of Shari’ah law is focused on the family.


“The
Shaitan only desires to cause enmity and hatred to spring in your midst by means of intoxicants and games of chance, and to keep you off from the remembrance of Allah and from prayer.” (Qur’an 5:91)

“If an evil impulse from Shaitan provokes you, seek refuge with Allah; He is All-hearing and all-knowing.” (Qur’an 7:200)

And march forth in the way of forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious.  Those who spend in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon the people; verily, Allah loves the good-doers.”(Qur’an 3:133-134)

So whatever you have been given is but enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who believe and put their trust in their Lord.  And those who avoid the greater sins, and illegal sexual intercourse, and when they are angry, they forgive.” (Qur’an 42:36)

It can be seen from the aforementioned verses that enmity, anger, hate are things that Shaitan provokes us with. We also see that tempering our anger and forgiveness are more wholesome.

“Say: ‘I seek refuge with the Lord of Daybreak, from the evil of duality, and from the evil of the darkness as it gathers and from the evil of those who blow on knots (l-‘uqadi) and from the evil of an envier when he envies.'” (Qur’an 113:1-5)

From those who ‘blow on knots‘.  The term ‘l-uqadi’ .

 

This term is used in the following instances of the Qur’an:

 

There is no blame upon you for that to which you indirectly allude concerning a proposal to women or for what you conceal within yourselves. Allah knows that you will have them in mind. But do not promise them secretly except for saying a proper saying. And do not determine to undertake a (uq’data l-nikahi)marriage contract until the decreed period reaches its end. And know that Allah knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing.” (Qur’an 2:235)

And in case you divorce them even before you have touched them, and you have already ordained for them a marriage-portion, then give her one half of what you have ordained except in case the women remit, or he in whose hand is the (uq’datu l-nikahi) knot of marriage remits; that you remit is nearer to piety. And do not forget the virtue of grace among yourselves; surely Allah is Ever-Beholding of whatever you do.” (Qur’an 2;237)

 

When you look at those instances of the word it becomes apparent that ‘blow on knots‘ is to ‘blow on marriages‘ . “devise plots against marriages”

Aqad literally means to ‘tie’ or to ‘bind’.  In English, we have the interesting idiom of ‘tying the knot‘ as a reference to getting married.

 

The Arabic word Khul means to ‘untie or to disrobe’.

Whereas the word Talaq means to abandon or rid oneself of something.

“Definition of “divorce” (talaq) Literally, the word “divorce” (talaq) means to abandon a thing or get rid of a thing. When an animal tied with a string is untied it is called talaq. If the tied with a string she-camel is untied, the Arabs mention this state as: “talaqa al-naqata talaqan” 23 (The she-camel has been released).”

Source: (Pg 15. Islamic Law of Marriage and Divorce by Shehza Sham)

So if the term Talaq means to untie, to abandon or to get rid of something it makes no sense to say to someone “I abandon you” thrice, because in order to be abandoned the second time or the third time just like saying ‘I untie you thrice’.  In order to be ‘untied’ a second or third time you would need to be tied or in a state of ‘aqad’ for a second or third time.

If we take into account that supra-natural forces are at work in bringing about discord in Muslim marriages why is not taken into the calculation by certain Muslim jurists and especially those influenced by ‘tassawuf‘ when deciding the fate of Muslim marriages?

Here is something that those from our brothers of the Ahl Sunnah need to take on board. If you believe the following hadith I have a question for you.

Narrated ‘Aisha:

Magic was worked on Allah’s Apostle so that he used to think that he had sexual relations with his wives while he actually had not (Sufyan said: That is the hardest kind of magic as it has such an effect)… (Al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 71, Number 660)

If you believe that the Blessed Messenger (saw) was under the influence of magic whats to say that Muslim couples say or do things under the influence of magic?

I don’t think there is a consistent response to this.

We also need to keep the following verses in mind:

O Prophet! When any of you divorce women, divorce them during their period of purity and calculate their ‘idda carefully. And have fear of Allah, your Lord. Do not evict them from their homes, nor should they leave, unless they commit an outright indecency. Those are Allah´s limits, and anyone who oversteps Allah´s limits has wronged himself. You never know, it may well be that after that Allah will cause a new situation to develop.” (Qur’an 65:1)

Even though this is what the  Qur’an  clearly states the jurist will allow couples marriages to be dissolved without asking questions like:

“Did you intend to divorce your wife while she was in menses?”

If the answer is Yes then you cannot intend to divorce your wife while she is in her menses.

If the answer is “I dunno” then again you cannot intend to divorce your wife on an “I dunno.”

Yet, I, unfortunately, know of many Muslims of the Sunni denomination who have gone through the divorce process and they have informed me that the judge, the counselor doesn’t even bother to ask this question.  Most unfortunate.

Another aspect of the revelation that unfortunately gets ignored is the following:

“Then, when they have reached their term (3 months), take them back in kindness or part from them in kindness, and call to witness two just men among you, and keep your testimony upright for Allah. Whoso believes in Allah and the Last Day is exhorted to act thus. And whosoever keeps his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him…” (Qur’an 65:2)

People do not realize but it is very possible for people to part amicably. Some times a woman cannot produce children and she has the option to be a co-wife. Whereas if the man cannot produce children he does not have the option to be the co-husband.

People can decide to amicably part if having biological children is an absolute deal-breaker in a relationship.  They may find for various other reasons that they are not suitable as partners.

Yet, unfortunately once again the judges or the counselors do not ask about the emotional state of the man/wife when words were uttered?  The answer is no.

If any men among you divorce their wives by Zihar (calling them mothers), they cannot be their mothers: None can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. And in fact, they use words (both) iniquitous and false: but truly Allah is one that blots out (sins), and forgives (again and again).” (Qur’an)

This verse clearly repudiates those men who would use an idiom or simply a verbal expression to divorce women.  This verse is also clear when coupled with other verses about having two just witnesses present, and consultation that it repudiates instant divorce simply through pronunciation.

They are invited to the book of Allah to settle their dispute”. (Qur’an 3:23)

And this is a Book which We have revealed as a blessing, so follow it and be righteous, that you may receive mercy”. (Qur’an 6:155).

Lo! this Qur’an guides to that which is most upright”. (Qur’an 17:9)

1 Comment

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One response to “Blowing on Knots. Saving Muslim Marriages

  1. david

    brother or sister
    surah 5 ayat 91 the word khamr is used
    also i refer to surah 6 ayats 68 onwards
    thanks for your knowledge

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